Building Bridges of Compassion: How to Approach Concerns About Someone's Well-Being
Some of you may know I'm taking time this summer to spend time to heal, spend time to retreat, to reflect, to reset, to recalibrate, and bring some love into my own life.
I've been busy. I've been working so hard, like literally working hard the whole 2022. It’s been all about hustling and refining my skills as a Solo Entrepreneur. Because I want to scale and I took course after course, business course, digital marketing, sales, you name it, I did it. SEO copywriting, the works. I got my head down. I got really strategic. I got into my left brain and the logical, pragmatic, deliberate side of myself and, you know, I had a win.
Last year I had record sales in one month and that was a huge, huge win. It allowed me to start onboarding team members to really kick off my podcast.
Not long after that, however, I crashed and burned and went into burnout.
In fact, I knew for a long time that danger was around the corner. I suspected that burnout was on its way but really I was already burnt out and pushing through it. My blog is going to be covering my personal journey over the next couple of weeks and months over the summer.
I want to start with the topic of mental health and emotional well being.
I know when I look back I know many people may have suspected something was wrong, maybe just intuitively they sensed something was up but maybe they didn't know how to approach me.
They didn't know how to ask, they didn’t know how to offer the help. Maybe they were afraid of insulting me or they were afraid of offending me.
These are all real possibilities and there is no education out there on how we can be an effective and efficient supporter to someone who we’re concerned may be at risk with their mental & emotional well being.
More times than not we say things in the worst possible way that push people away from us, or shame people who need help, from actually asking for help.
I know that's what I needed. I know I needed when I was going through my addiction, someone just to reach out a hand and “say hey, just to let you know I'm here for you if ever you need.”
It wasn't about whether I was going to reach out and actually receive the help but just knowing there's someone there especially when I was working myself to the ground.
Today I'm going to cover five ways that we can take when we suspect someone we care about a friend or colleague or maybe it's just the person who works in the local grocers who suspect their mental and emotional well being is at risk. Here's some things you could ask them, you could prompt.
1.First of all, it's so important to choose a setting to choose a setting that is private, because we all need to feel safe and private so that the person can freely express themselves. Normally quiet & neutral. Maybe a new place that’s unfamiliar and therefore common ground for both of you, free from sort of loud noise and distractions.
2.Just to start a conversation, I would seed an idea of a specific scenario that you're concerned about for them but make it about you. You're setting the scene, maybe suggesting something familiar, but always referring to yourself.
3. Another tip is to practice active listening. Active listening is really a skill. And what it really requires for you is to be present with that person giving them your full attention. That means you're not on the phone. That means you're not looking anywhere else. You're just being with them and you're not giving any advice. You're just being patient, you're being non judgmental, and you're being extremely, extremely empathetic. That means you don't interrupt. That means you don't offer a solution. You just be present. You connect, you nod and you validate responses. Active listening, repeating back the best you can what they've said to you, which shows that you've been listening.
4.Simply express your concern, maybe share what you've observed, “I noticed you've lost weight and I just want to let you know I'm here for you.” Just offer the support without making a judgement. Let them know that you're there for them if they ever need a non judgmental, compassionate, non blaming type of friend, you're that person.
5.Validate their feelings. Validate them by acknowledging them. It's not about you agreeing. It's not about you trying to fix it. It's not about you trying to justify what they're feeling. It's not even necessarily about agreeing. Just validate. You don't dismiss them, you don't minimize them. You just simply say it's okay for them to feel the way they do, to think the way they do. Their emotions are 100% valid. And that's it.
Be the type of person you would need in your most vulnerable moments. We need to feel safe, heard, seen & felt. Start with this - being present so that someone can show up unashamedly exactly as they are with Fearless Authenticity.
We often forget that there's professional help out there. If you're really savvy, you could even have researched the resources for them and just pop it on a piece of paper so they have it handy and know you care.
I know personally, any one of these would have had some impact on me.
II hope you find this resource useful because at the end of the day, people just want to show up as themselves. It's not easy to show up vulnerably. It's really, really, really not easy.
Set the stage and open the door to people who are at risk, so that they can feel safe to be vulnerable; to be themselves, honest and raw. This is a huge step towards their healing and navigating towards a healthier mental health & emotional well being state.
We're here to support each other. We're here as a community so we do what we can.
This week on the podcast coming on Friday, I have a really special guest who I'm excited to share with you because she was a teen mom and my gosh, her resilience! Nadia Halim navigated being a teen mom in a society and culture that really looks down on it. Her courage and her fierce vulnerability is palpable.
The opportunity to show up exactly as she is and now the way that she champions and advocates for women empowerment is very, very inspiring. Take note of Episode 31.
Next week, I promise to share you a little bit more about my personal healing journey.
Every time I think my mental health and emotional well being are intact, there's an opportunity for me to unravel yet another layer that compromises me.
This is not something to self-criticise.
This is not something to feel despondent about.
It's something to celebrate and honour because it shows growth
I'll see you on Instagram and LinkedIn and in the newsletter and most of all in the community space the dirty daily journal. Join the June challenge where we have a prompt a day that guides all of us together towards living more mindfully as we get to know our fears a little bit better to move through them.
Remember my friends to take it easy.
Love is the only energy.
Stay fearlessly curious
Warm love always,
Sa xxx