From Grief to Gratitude; An unexpected journey

Mum and Dad in 2011, On board the Four Seasons Explorer, Maldives

Losing someone close to me was one of the most difficult experiences I have ever faced. The pain and sadness felt unbearable, and I struggled to find a way to cope.

However, as time passed, I began to realize the power of grief. It allowed me to process my emotions, reflect on my memories, and ultimately find a path towards healing and hope.

Through my journey, I learned that grief is not something to be feared, but rather embraced as a natural part of the human experience.

The death of my father, followed by the death of my soul partner, left me feeling literally at a loss with life.

I didn't know what life was. I didn't know what was the purpose of life?

What is the point of living when at the end of it all, we just simply die?

It has been nine years since my father passed away. That experience has been fundamental in changing the programming of my DNA. The programming of my DNA that's been so steeped in conditioning.

It made me question, my purpose why I'm here, why are we here? I mean, am I really here just to follow the script and the system that has been laid out before me?

Going to school, behaving in a certain way, needing to belong within certain groups and following a path that has been laid out for me rather than a path that is carved out by the unique signature of who I meant to be.

Am I meant to follow a path that minimizes the most unique parts of me? That shaves off the edges of what makes me different in order to fit into a society that was not built for me but built to control me?

How much am I valuing my life when I am being blindfolded & muted? A life where my creativity is being told that it has no place because I’m coloring outside the lines. Because my rainbow is too colorful for a monochrome world.

Yeah, I'm done with that. I've woken up to the fact that this life is MINE to live, on my terms, and that IS POSSIBLE in a world that tells you it is not!

When I experienced loss of life through my beloved father and my soulmate, the devastating loss delivered me to the door of fearless curiosity.

I remember taking this the day Sam passed. I rushed to Dad’s grave for support. I didn’t have a reason at the time to capture this moment but had a strong calling to do so. Now I know I snapped the picture so that one day I could honour my healing journey

I asked incessantly - what is my purpose? Why am I here? If all I'm going to do is die, then do I really just want to live colouring within the lines?

Do I really want to live my life according to someone else's direction? When after all, I just die? I mean, do I really want to just follow along and have another version of a very mediocre life? No. If this all ends in death, then I definitely want to dive into life and experience it at its fullest.

So the biggest lesson right there that I learned through loss of life, through my journey of grief and the questions that came with grief turned my life around. I have never been more grateful for the experience of grief than today as I write this.

I wondered how different life would be for us all if there was education around death. If I wasn't living in a world that was conditioning me to escape death by encouraging lengthening of life and avoiding the aging process. Those are all mechanisms of avoiding death. Right?

How different would life be if I understood death, if I understood that it all comes to an end. Maybe I might have lived my life differently.

But guess what, it's never too late. Since I experienced death in such a profound way I have started to live more fully and believe you me even before then I really thought I was living this radical misfit rebellious life!

In the last nine years, life has truly expanded. Now I have faced the end of life in a loved one, my understanding of mortality has shifted.

I want to maximize every day that I live. And part of that is supporting others to do the same.

I mean, for goodness sakes, there's only one of you in this world. It's your job to live your life your way. Because the experiences that you live, inform the people that you spend time with. You provide them a perspective of life that they could never have.

You are a window into the limitless opportunities of and possibilities that life can offer. When we spend time with each other, and we can accept and hold space for our individuality, we learn what life looks like through different lenses.

Yes, this has been a culmination of my grief journey, learning about death, learning about life, through death, ironically, and learning more about death through life.

Every day, we experience death, we need to experience loss because every day we learn something new about ourselves.

When we give ourselves permission to show up as who we are, we have to let go of an older version of who we are. And when we let go of something, there is loss. There is a death of the psyche.

There is a death of a version of who you thought you are. So that you can become the newest version of who you're meant to be.

(Listen to me Grief Playlist here )

You see death and rebirth is part and parcel of life and we see it everywhere in nature. So imagine how much we lose out on when we have no appreciation and no awareness of death.

We lose out on that death and rebirth cycle.

We become stuck, we become stagnant, we become uninspired, we become the most mediocre, the most insipid, the most gray version of ourselves. And that just kills our joy.

So don't be afraid of death. Don't be afraid of talking about it. It's transformational.

I had a deeply moving conversation with my Mum about death and grief recently. I had the privilege to hold space for her as she shared her grief journey first losing her Mother when she was barely 40 years old and then when she lost my Dad 9 years ago.

*If you want to join the conversation you can find it on YouTube from Friday 12 May - Follow this link & you will receive the notification

Life is so much sweeter when we appreciate death

You'll hear so much about why I'm passionate about education on grief and why it's so important for us to inform ourselves on the death and grieving process. How important it is for us to share our stories. Because when we share our stories we know we're not alone.

Of course each of us are living our own unique experience and to compare and to contrast is not to be competitive, but it is to communicate; it is to commune.

It is love and connection.

Grief is often seen as a taboo topic, something that we should keep to ourselves and not burden others with.

I believe that breaking the stigma surrounding grief is essential for our collective healing.

By sharing our stories and experiences, we can create a more compassionate and understanding society. It is important to remember that grief is not a weakness, but rather a natural response to loss. By talking about it openly, we can create a space for healing and growth.

Warm love always,

Sa xxx