EP.14 - Turning Anxiety into a Superpower
SHOW NOTES:
Fear is a primal instinct that keeps humans alive and surviving.
But for some, fear often leads to constant and overwhelming anxiety that ends up hindering growth, peace, and happiness.
So how do you face fear without using quick fixes and hacks that only bring temporary relief?
The only way out is through. Embrace and welcome fear and be curious with it. Ask your fears what they are here for, how can feeling these fears serve you, and what wisdom lies behind them.
You can use fear as a tool to access a higher level of wisdom, as well as learn how to tap into your internal resources for emotional healing.
By getting curious and tapping into your inner wisdom, you can learn to navigate fear and anxiety in a positive way.
Here are the key takeaways from this episode:
1:51 - Fear is a natural part of life and is wired into the brain for survival
2:33 - Learn to lean into your fears and get curious, ask it questions
3:04 - Using quick fixes to relieve anxiety make us lose control of ourselves
3:41 - Ask your anxiety “What are you here for? How is it that you can serve me?”
6:09 - Ask yourself what feels safe right now and focus on that
Music for Mindfulness & Emotional Healing Playlists :
YouTube : https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwCoodmCciEG3gWmY6WYUDNaYzDwrtmD5
Spotify : https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1E2ti833BFktEXAB9kuxrR?si=8db0e42deeb74dc2
LISTEN HERE
LISTEN ON YOUR FAVOURITE PODCAST APP:
Resources:
Join my fearlessly curious community and SIGN UP to my Fearlessly Authentic Living Newsletters for reflections, contemplations and support you won't find anywhere else.
If you enjoy this episode, please SHARE, RATE and REVIEW the show on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.
About Me:
I help you lead with fearless authenticity by smashing the self-imposed heteronormative stereotypes that keep you playing small through emotional healing inner child and inherited intergenerational trauma. Create a purposeful life of your unique design by disrupting societal norms and expectations of who you should be. Explore mindfulness, fearless curiosity and loving kindness through the lens of Human Design to thrive as the person you are born to be.
Learn more about my coaching method and join my emotional healing, mindfulness, and music community at melissaindot.com.
WATCH THIS EPISODE ON YOU TUBE
TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00]
We so often take things to help us navigate our anxiety or cut the anxiety or numb the anxiety. And because there are these quick fixes out there that are available to us, we're becoming more and more disconnected from our bodies. We're becoming more and more desensitised, and in a way we are losing control of ourselves because we're giving our power away to quick fixes, to hacks, to medicating. We give away our power rather than learn how to navigate these experiences.
[00:00:37]
Hey there. Welcome to the Fearlessly Curious Podcast, your safe space to listen, lean in, and learn the diversity of human experiences through the lens of fearless curiosity. When we learn more about each other, we also learn more about ourselves. How? Because when we listen to each other's curiosities and experiences, we relate to that which is in common, and that which sets us apart, gives us something to reflect on. We learn through and with each other. I'm grateful to you, the global community, for your curious questions. The Fearlessly Curious Podcast cannot exist without you.
[00:01:24]
So hi everybody. This week, episode 14 of the Fearlessly Curious Podcast. I'm Melissa Indot, and I am your host today. The topic for today is, Can anxiety be a superpower? Now, the reason why I want to discuss this with you today is because this is something that shows up a lot with my clients for everybody, for all of us.
[00:01:46]
In fact, in life, at some level, we experience fear because, well, we're wired for fear. That is our primal instinct that keeps us alive, that keeps us surviving. But essentially we wanna move past this primal stage of focusing only on survival. What we want to do is thrive. We wanna be aware of the fears.
[00:02:08]
Ideally lean into some of those fears to harvest the wisdom that lies behind that fear. The fear is there for many, many different reasons. Without getting into the biology, we are wired for fear. Literally the amygdala, it's the part of the brain that scans. It's constantly scanning for anything that might be dangerous.
[00:02:26]
So it's looking for fear. It's looking out for fear already. So this is power wired. We don't ever need to think about. So when we do start thinking about fears, instead of becoming all encompassed by those fears, we can learn to lean into those fears and get curious, ask it questions, let the fear lead us to wisdom, to an intelligence that we would otherwise avoid or run away from.
[00:02:51]
So here are prompts for those anxious ones of you out there, and I relate. I get anxious. We so often take things to help us navigate our anxiety or cut the anxiety or numb the anxiety. And because there are these quick fixes out there that are available to us, we're becoming more and more disconnected from our bodies.
[00:03:11]
We're becoming more and more desensitised, and in a way we are. losing control of ourselves because we're giving our power away to quick fixes, to hacks, to medicating. That medicating could be sugar, could be coffee, could be alcohol, could be anything, could be being distracted by your device. We give away our power rather than learn how to navigate these experiences.
[00:03:34]
So anxiety is something that shows up a lot. Face the fear. Not with aggression, not looking for conflict, not trying to challenge it, but you're facing the fear in the way that you are embracing it. You are welcoming it in, and you are saying, I know you have a voice. I know you have something to say. Let me get curious with you, what is it that you're here for?
[00:03:52]
How is it that you can serve me? One of the things that shows up in terms of fear is feeling like we don't have what it takes. It's a bit like how I felt when I started this podcast. Something deep inside of me felt called to do it. But I kept saying to myself, I don't really have what it takes. I don't think I have what it takes.
[00:04:09]
Yeah, I like to talk, but I don't really sound like those people out there already. The Tony Robbins, the Mel Robbins, the Jay Shettys. I don't sound like them, so I don't really have what it takes, but yet I have this burning desire within me to do this. So I asked myself this question, Melissa, what does it take?
[00:04:27]
I sat down and I started to write a list. I researched what it require to start up a podcast? And when I took the emotion out of it and I explored practically those steps to explore, to discover, to be curious, and I made the list of requirements, I noticed how many of those requirements I could fulfil.
[00:04:47]
So I completely quelled the fear of I don't have what it takes, I'm not gonna do it cause I don't have what it takes. Because I'm afraid of failure. Another question, and this is one that's particularly common. I'm really afraid of the future because the future is an unknown space. I have no idea what's gonna happen.
[00:05:04]
And so the future for me is very scary. And I've had friends who have had debilitating fear and anxiety in this way that they didn't really wanna leave the house cause they were afraid something calamitous would happen. That's on an extreme level, and of course I'm not here to give medical advice. I'm not a doctor.
[00:05:22]
I'm not a medical professional. I'm here simply sharing with all of you some of the prompts that I implement for myself. and I suggest to my clients to experiment with, but only if it feels safe for them. So there's full autonomy. I'm only sharing what works for me. There is no medical standing or scientific explanation.
[00:05:41]
It's just through my personal experience. So for those of you out there who feel that the future is a scary place, which let's face it, if we really break it down, we like to know things. So the idea of not knowing something, not knowing what the future holds is completely natural to fear, but it's definitely not something that we want to stop us from living life at all or for slumping into a state of existing where we're not really getting the most out of life.
[00:06:09]
So if you feel like the future has a very, very scary place to be, I would ask what feels safe now? Because when we're in fear, when we're anxious, our nervous system is on high. Our sympathetic, very specific part of the nervous system is alert. Basically, the primal part of us is wired to fight, flight, run basically, freeze, like not move foreign, which is when we're trying to negotiate our way out of something when our nervous system is highly activated because we're afraid.
[00:06:38]
Because it's scary, because we are in an unknown, unprecedented situation. Then the first thing is to ask yourself what feels safe? Now, focus on that. Hold yourself. Put your hand on your heart. Go inward and focus on your breath. Get safe in your own body. Okay? Remember that I'm talking about anxiety, and anxiety pretty much exists in the mind.
[00:07:02]
It's the ruminating thoughts. So when you think that the future is a crazy place or a scary place, I want you to get into your body. That means getting safe in your body. That means connecting with your body either through breath or literally through touch. Touch your body. Give yourself a self hug, one hand on the armpit, one hand over the shoulder, and grip tight.
[00:07:23]
Give yourself a hug. Activate the vagus. By getting safe into your body in the now by focusing on what feels safe now. So for example, home feels safe. The smell of hot chocolate feels safe, right? The touch or the fragrance of lilies, feel safe. Whatever it is that feels safe for you, focus on that. Going into your imagination connects with that experience that is held within your memory, through your senses.
[00:07:51]
Smell it. Imagine it. Touch. And one of the most useful tools that I use is music. I'll immediately go to my playlist or specific song that I know just feels like home. And by the way, I have a beautiful playlist of songs that help to bring you home to yourself. You can find it on YouTube, you can find it on Spotify.
[00:08:11]
You just need to look for my account. And it's a playlist for emotional healing. It's there for you. You will either love the whole playlist. I definitely find one song there that's gonna help you. In those moments of anxiety, when you feel, if you choose a scary place to connect with what feels safe now, right in your body, right in your heart, right in your belly.
[00:08:31]
Another symptom of anxiety or rather another question, a prompt that often comes up is thinking that things will never change, that you're stuck in a rut. And there's no way out. There's no way to escape. There's no way to fix it. There's no way to solve it. Just stuck. And thinking and feeling that way in particular is gonna make you feel very trapped and clearly unable to move.
[00:08:52]
So it's almost like you are magnifying the state that you already think you're in. So I already think that I'm trapped. I keep thinking more and more than I'm trapped. And because I'm focusing on the fact that I think I'm trapped. I'm not gonna be able to see any way out at all, any small opportunity to get out of here
[00:09:07]
I'm not gonna see, cause I'm only focusing on the fact that things will never change and there's no way out. So literally shift the perspective. Ask what can I change? What can I change right now? I could stop thinking about it. I could do the opposite of what I'm doing right now. I could ask for help. I could call someone I've never spoken to before.
[00:09:27]
Right. I could get up, put another song on and just dance like crazy five minutes and just focus on that and then come down and ask myself the same question. What can change? Or maybe after dancing it out, I don't believe anymore that things will never change. But those are a couple of pattern interrupts for you.
[00:09:46]
That begins with being curious, asking yourself what can change? So that's already a lot for this episode. Take this as part one of the can anxiety be a superpower and how to shift some of these questions that can come, that can hound us when we're afraid because of our anxiety. Let me know in the DMs, in the comments if you found this helpful, or if you have any tips as well. And don't forget to hit the subscribe button so that you get the next episode for part two. Until next time, be fearlessly curious.
[00:10:25]
If you want more. Make sure to subscribe so you never miss a new episode every Friday. And please leave a review if you enjoy this episode. Don't forget to send me your curious questions and experiences as inspiration for future episodes. Your anonymity will be respected if that's what you prefer. For more guidance and support, join my emotional healing, mindfulness, and music community over at melissaindot.com. See you next week.
JOIN MY FEARLESSLY CURIOUS COMMUNITY:
SIGN UP to my Fearlessly Authentic Living Newsletters for reflections, contemplations and support you won't find anywhere else.