Anxiety.

This is something that many people around me experience.

For some individuals, certain life events can trigger this; and for some, anxiety may feel like a lingering shadow that never really goes away.

Anxiety is a normal reaction to stress, and there is no shortage of stress in today's fast-paced society. That is why we all feel some degree of unease, fear, or worry when confronted with unknowns.

In fact, anxiety is a natural part of the human experience because, well, we're wired for it. That's the basic human instinct that ensures our continued existence. Early humans used the fight-or-flight response to avoid danger in the past. Now, what about the anxieties of today?

Obviously, there are numerous potential causes around us that can contribute to anxiety, and individuals may experience anxiety to varying degrees.

For some people, anxiety can be so debilitating that it interferes with daily life because of a real physical problem. In this case, you may need to see a doctor for a formal medical evaluation and treatment. What I want to talk about here is the everyday worry that most of us feel.

Regardless of the reasons, I find a variety of different thought patterns among us that are subtle but contribute to worry and anxiety among the people I know:

Comparison and worrying too much about what other people think.

It's so easy to notice when other people are comparing themselves and caring too much about what others think. But it's also really tough not to do that ourselves. For example, most people tend to focus on and share only the positive aspects of their lives on social media; this doesn’t imply that they have it easy. Maybe that person is going through a tough time, but they don't want to talk about it. Just because what you see in others looks good, it doesn’t always imply that you’re doing worse. Instead of treating life as a competition, appreciate the reality that everyone is on their own unique path.

Strive for perfection.

I set a high standard for all of my creations, including my music recordings, artwork, and podcasts. It is all too easy for me to get carried away trying to perfect every single element of a task I’m working on, only to return to it multiple times to repair “flaws” in other areas. Eventually, the visible shortcomings in my work frequently cause me worry and irritation. Sounds familiar? Because of this realisation, I’ve now learnt to constantly remind myself to embrace the fact that life is full of beautiful imperfections.

Low self-worth.

When we think we've worked hard for something, we feel like we deserve it. However, some of us may feel undeserving when someone unexpectedly offers us something or goes out of their way to assist us. We may even wonder whether the person is genuine in their offer. There is a gap between what we believe we deserve and what we can actually obtain. Let me ask you this: how many times have you turned down good opportunities because you doubted your own worth?

Ways to make anxiety work for you

The mind has a natural tendency to dislike feelings of nervousness. People often associate them with something bad or unpleasant that they'd rather not happen. Just how, then, can we make it function for us? Of course, I'm not going to say that we should accept this feeling. Using it as a protective mechanism isn't a good enough reason to just accept this feeling.

Simple deep breathing

Neuroscientists and therapists advocate this as one of the best tools to help us relax. One simple method is the box breathing technique: four counts in on the inhale, four counts at the top, four counts on the exhale, and four counts at the bottom. This method is great in activating the parasympathetic nervous system, the opposite of the fight or flight, the very mechanism that can calm us down or even get us into a meditative state.

Walking

Walking is more than just a physical activity. Taking a walk in the park, around the block, or even just around the building can have a profound effect on your mental and physical health. Underneath the movements, your brain is releasing a plethora of feel-good neurochemicals like endorphins, dopamine, and serotonin. That's why walking relieves stress for most people.

Giving yourself a hug

When you think the future is scary, it can help to bring yourself back to the present. You begin by giving yourself a hug. Feel your body, your face, and your heartbeat. Feel the part of the floor that your feet are touching. Feel the weight of your body on the chair as you sit down. Feel how the fabric of your clothes feels against your skin. Focus on what feels safe right now to bring your body back into the present.

Listening to music

One of my favourite ways to calm down when things are tough is to listen to music. Music has many different effects on our minds and bodies. When put together in different ways, vibrations and different rhythms can make us react in different ways. Fast beats can give us more energy and help us feel more motivated, while slower beats can help us calm down and let go of stress. I've made a list of songs that help me relax, and I'd like to share it with you at the end of this post.

***Image by*** ***Omar Medina*** ***from Pixabay***

And…

A simple, but powerful mindset shift – Turning “what ifs” into “to-dos”

Dr. Wendy Suzuki, a neuroscientist at New York University, introduced this concept. Instead of worrying about the obvious things that we can’t control, we create a "to-do list" that we focus on. This approach not only increases our productivity, but it also empowers us to solve the problem with our own abilities. Let me share an example: I failed and am worried that I will fail again. Rather than waiting to fail again, I learn from my mistakes. As a result, failure becomes a form of feedback. The takeaway here is that when you fail, the details matter. Because the details are there to help us improve, not to intimidate us.

Final Thoughts

It's important to remember that anxiety is a defense mechanism that keeps us safe.

When we understand anxiety, we learn important things that we can use to help us face the biggest challenges in life. At our core, we want to go beyond the basic need to survive. We want to experience true freedom—to be able to pursue our passions and live life on our own terms. It’s about breaking free from societal norms and expectations with the goal of living an authentic life.

As promised, here’s the link to my curated playlist

p/s: So how do you figure out which song fits you best? I’ll leave it up to you. You could start by listening to the songs on this playlist, which I’ve curated for you. Some songs may calm you down, while others may not. It's fine to skip around until you find one that does.

If you enjoy reading this post, you might also enjoy my Fearlessly Curious Podcast series on “Turning Anxiety into a Superpower” Part 1 & Part 2 .

Come with me as I share more tips on mastering your emotions and living life to the fullest with fearless authenticity. Reach out and follow me on instagram & linkedin as we grow and learn together!

Love,

Sa (Melissa)

xxx

Transform anxiety into your biggest asset