EP.31 - Teen Mum to Empowered Woman: Nadia Halim's Inspiring Journey
SHOW NOTES:
Being authentically yourself can sometimes feel like a challenge, but it's the key to personal growth and genuine happiness. This becomes an even greater challenge when faced with unexpected life circumstances, such as becoming a teenage mum.
Navigating this journey while dealing with society's pressures and expectations is where Nadia Halim truly shines. A powerhouse who was a teen mum herself, Nadia embodies authenticity and is on a mission to empower women to live their truth unapologetically.
According to Nadia, the key is understanding that you can't please everyone, and it's okay to put yourself first. Embrace change, even if it means leaving people behind to create room for new experiences. If negativity surrounds you, have the courage to walk away and embark on your journey of self-growth.
Remember, it's about building yourself and tapping into the best version of you. The journey may be challenging, but your determination and the right community support can make it rewarding and meaningful.
Here are the key takeaways from this episode:
03:42 - Nadia shares her story of being a teenage mum.
06:24 - Having an open heart and an open mind makes the journey a lot easier.
10:05 - People don’t think about you as much as you think they do.
13:28 - By putting loving and yourself first, the journey comes abundantly.
24:12 - Always try to look for something you can learn from.
36:02 - Focus on building yourself and tapping into that best version of you.
ABOUT OUR GUEST
Nadia Halim Dziobkowska is the tenacious creator behind "Blip by Nadia Halim". Her journey, marked by the unique challenges of being a teenage mother, has shaped her into an ardent advocate for authenticity and personal growth. Facing judgment and doubt, Nadia chose to rise above, embracing her truth and discovering her purpose: to inspire women to do the same.
Nadia has consistently disrupted stereotypes and challenged societal norms, encouraging open dialogue and staying true to herself. Her courageous journey extends to her professional life, where she's not just creating impactful content, but also launching her own cosmetics business.
An early childhood teacher, performer, and an inspiring influencer, Nadia lives by the motto: "The world needs the best version of me and not what others tell me to be". Like Sia's "Original", Nadia champions authenticity and fearlessly embarks on her own path, all while encouraging others to do the same. Nadia's story resonates with the power of self-discovery and the liberating feeling of being unapologetically you.
Connect with Nadia through her Instagram page @nadiahalim.dziobkowska and learn more about BLIP @blipbynadiahalim.
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About Me:
I help you lead with fearless authenticity by smashing the self-imposed heteronormative stereotypes that keep you playing small through emotional healing inner child and inherited intergenerational trauma. Create a purposeful life of your unique design by disrupting societal norms and expectations of who you should be. Explore mindfulness, fearless curiosity and loving kindness through the lens of Human Design to thrive as the person you are born to be.
Learn more about my coaching method and join my emotional healing, mindfulness, and music community at melissaindot.com.
TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Nadia: I think the danger part about being selfless is that you will lose yourself in all this. You don't know what your identity are. You don't know what you stand for. You don't know your values, so you are very flimsy in life. Whatever. Whenever people push you right in life, you just go, you know you're not standing still.
[00:00:23] Melissa: Hey there. Welcome to the Fearlessly Curious Podcast, your safe space. Listen, lean in and learn the diversity of human experiences through the lens of fearless curiosity. When we learn more about each other, we also learn more about ourselves. How? Because when we listen to each other's curiosities and experiences, we relate to that which is in common, and that which sets us apart, gives us something to reflect on. We learn through and with each other. I'm grateful to you, the global community, for your curious questions. The Fearlessly Curious Podcast cannot exist without you.
[00:01:11] Melissa: Well, I have never felt, and I say this almost every episode, and I'm honest with you, I'm always authentic. Today is different. As in, not that I'm not gonna be authentic, I'm gonna be equally authentic, but it's different because I have full permission to be my ultra goofy self because when I am around this woman, she just reminds me how much more fun I can have in life.
[00:01:34] Melissa: Totally girl-crushed on Instagram, and then one day we met in person and I didn't know what to do with myself, but I'm gonna let her tell the story of that ladies. And gentlemen and everybody in between. This is the Fearlessly Curious Podcast, and this week I have as my guest and your guest, Nadia Halim Dziobkowska.
[00:01:54] Melissa: Did I say that wrong? Did I say it right?
[00:01:56] Nadia: It was almost, it's still better than other people whose attempt to try and pronounce the name, but it's Dziobkowska
[00:02:05] Melissa: Let's try that again. Got it. Ladies and gentlemen, everybody in between. We welcome to the Fearlessly Curious Podcast, Nadia Halim Dziobkowska.
[00:02:20] Nadia: Yay.
[00:02:20] Melissa: So awesome.
[00:02:21] Nadia: Round of applause for Melissa. Thank you so much.
[00:02:23] Melissa: I need the sound effects.
[00:02:26] Nadia: Thank you so much, Melissa for having me. I'm actually very excited. We've been talking through emails and Instagram and also in person, apparently.
[00:02:37] Melissa: Nadia, can you please share with everybody your why in life? So normally I'd say, oh, tell us what you do. Don't tell us what you do. Tell us why you do it.
[00:02:47] Nadia: Why I wanted to, okay. I need to ask.
[00:02:49] Melissa: I probably won't edit this out, so just for the record, this probably will be in the podcast. Go ahead, ask me what.
[00:02:58] Nadia: Are you gonna cut and paste them or this is going to be like the whole thing?
[00:03:01] Melissa: No, dude, seriously, it's just one full recording in flow. So even the spit they're gonna hear this little side whisper is gonna be in there and especially in the video podcast. By the way, for those of you who haven't subscribed to the YouTube, what you're waiting for, cuz you need to see the facial expressions are gonna happen.
[00:03:20] Melissa: Anyway. Justs, no editing, only editing out. Like maybe a few swear words if that happens. Or big gaps.
[00:03:27] Nadia: Oh, just, yeah. Okay. So why? Alright, so I'm just gonna say a little bit of story about why I wanna do what I do. Mm-hmm. Okay. I was a teenage mom.
[00:03:39] Melissa: So you were a teenage mom.
[00:03:42] Nadia: Yes, and I was born and raised in a Muslim family, so it's not a big thing. People are not accepting of child before the marriage, but it happened to me. I was teenage mom. I had my daughter when I was 17 years old. So that's a totally different life that I went through. Just thinking about it 11 years ago, what I went through and how it was, I'm very happy and amazed that I get to be who I am today. And if I was told, okay, Nadia, if you would like to change your history, right, your experience in life before when you were a teenager, would you do it? I wouldn't say yes, I would like to stick to what my life was and how it was supposed to be because it made me who I am today. Growing up as a teenage mom, you know, it was not easy. It was trying to balance between being a teenage mom and being a teenager.
[00:04:32] Melissa: Wow. Wait, hang on, hold on. Slow down a minute. So you had to balance being a teenage mom. So a mom, basically a mom and being, yeah, and also still being semi a child.
[00:04:43] Nadia: Yeah, exactly. Not even an adult, right?
[00:04:46] Melissa: No, I mean I'm still not an adult, but then we're not talking about me, but yes, sure. So navigating being a teenager. So first of all, can I just ask you, what does that mean for you being a teenager? What did that mean? Being a teenager, what did that mean?
[00:04:58] Nadia: Being a teenager. I think it's more about exploring yourself, who you are, trying out new things, understanding about your body and how you think, and the people around you experimenting a lot of new things in life. So that was a teenager.
[00:05:13] Melissa: And then the mom bit. What did that mean for you?
[00:05:16] Nadia: I think a mom is somebody, even in my opinion, it's someone who would do something without anything in return. That's a mom. Mm. And I'm not talking this because I was only, I was looking at my mom. My mom has sacrificed a lot and she has done so many things. She's a housewife, so her focus was the children and her husband. Right. So, and she didn't ask for anything in return. So I figured that's a cool way of being a mom, I guess. Hmm. Yeah. You know? So that's a mom for you.
[00:05:46] Melissa: Yeah, because our earliest role models are our parents, aren't they? Yes. They're the people that we spend the most time with and that we observe, so I love that.
[00:05:55] Melissa: So just to recap, you were navigating two different ways of being. One, which is a teenager, and in that process of discovering who you are, your body, how you're integrating in the world, what your thoughts are, so all about you. Yes. Basically. Right? And then navigating being a mom, a child, right? Yeah. Which is not about you at all in a way.
[00:06:15] Melissa: Giving without any expectation to receive. And what I'm hearing is that sounds like a real opposite ends of a spectrum, so, damn girl. Yeah. Damn girl.
[00:06:24] Nadia: I don't even know how I do it, but I did it. But I guess that's a part of being a mom. Like you don't know how to do it and you just learn. Throughout the journey. So I guess that's what's helped me. I think I had an open mind. I had an open heart with my journey, and I guess that makes it a lot easier. I accepted my fate and what has happened, so I did not go back to that part of my life and goals. I wish it was different.
[00:06:50] Melissa: Well, first of all, did you face any struggles? I won't make any assumptions. Mm-hmm. Did you face any struggles with. You know, within your family unit, what about your friends and society in general? Because I know how things that could be viewed, but I wanna hear from you. Mm-hmm. And I know our listeners do too. We may have our own perception, but really what we wanna hear is your personal journey on this. If you would be, yeah.
[00:07:13] Nadia: I had something that I never told anyone. Actually, wait a minute.
[00:07:16] Melissa: Wait a minute. Just, just, just reminding you that we don't edit anything out of this. Are you sure? Are you, are you feeling a hundred percent safe? Because this is a real honour if you are sharing this in the podcast for the first time.
[00:07:27] Nadia: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course. Yeah, for sure. I think it has to be out there. I think people needs to know my story. People need to know the good things and the bad things that I experienced in my life. Right. Because most of the time I only show the good things, the good side of my life. Mm-hmm. Yeah, so when I had my daughter, some parts of my family knew about me getting pregnant, and some parts of my family did not know that I had a daughter.
[00:07:54] Nadia: So half of my family grew up watching Amanda and they know that, okay, Amanda is my daughter, and the other part of my family grew up actually not knowing that Amanda is my daughter.
[00:08:04] Melissa: So who did they think Amanda was? And by the way, Just shout out, Amanda, you have the coolest life ahead of you because there are many people out there on top of your amazing mom who love you already. Just wanna say that. Thank you.
[00:08:18] Nadia: Yeah. So they thought Amanda is an adopted kid. I think a lot of people, I don't know if it's a lot, but I know there are people who had the same similar stories as I am. Mm-hmm. But I never really told this because I'm just scared that people might think my family would not be accepting.
[00:08:32] Nadia: Right. I see. But I'm talking about like a little bit distant family. I'm not talking about my siblings. They all knew obviously, but like the distant family, some of them don't know about Amanda was my daughter. Okay. So, yeah. Yeah.
[00:08:46] Melissa: So, yeah. Do they know now or are they listening to the podcast and discovering it for the first time?
[00:08:53] Nadia: I think they know now. Okay. Because I start, you know, putting stories about Amanda. Okay. You know, being honest and say, okay, Amanda is my daughter, my daughter, and my daughter, my daughter. Initially it was a little bit hard, especially for my mom when I admit that she was my daughter. And, uh, I know it hurts her very much, but, For me, it's just the truth is liberating.
[00:09:14] Nadia: I cannot live in fear anymore. That's not how it works. And I don't want Amanda and my daughter to live in fear thinking that something wrong with her. Mm. Right. Mm-hmm. If anything, it's on me. It's not on her. Mm-hmm. Wow.
[00:09:27] Melissa: Yeah, I'm, yeah, a hundred percent. Like you wanna be fully accountable and also honour her for the person that she is. Right. Honour the truth. That takes a lot of courage, especially, you know, as a teenager and living in a society where, Actually, let's face it, majority of societies would struggle with the concept, I would say, of uh, teenager becoming a mom, not for anything. It's because for the very reason that you mentioned, right as teenagers, were still discovering ourselves. But I admire you for coming on and sharing your story. And I'm curious to know, you said that it hurt your mom. Do you know what was in your mom's mind?
[00:10:05] Nadia: I think she, she don't wanna feel judged. You know? Mm-hmm. So my mom and my father are very different. My dad don't really care what people think about him. My mom is on a different side where she cares for what other people think about her, and I think it's such a great traits you have, I think you should care on some level. Mm-hmm. Of what people think about you and stuff. But too much of it, it's not helping you at the end of the day, right? Mm-hmm. So you're constantly living in the fear of what other people might think of you. And the thing is, People don't think about you as much as what you think. Do you know what I mean?
[00:10:38] Melissa: Yeah. I definitely do with you on that on idea, I can't remember where I read somewhere.
[00:10:43] Nadia: It was like a research or something. It's actually proven that people don't actually think about you that much. No. As you thought they would think about you, right?
[00:10:51] Melissa: Yeah. Because everybody's doing what you were doing, which is right now. Mm-hmm. I'm thinking about what people gonna think listening to the podcast. What are people gonna think whenever I wear this, what are people gonna think if I say that and everybody else is thinking the same thing, which is.
[00:11:05] Melissa: They're wondering about themselves, right? Mm-hmm. We're self obsessed.
[00:11:10] Nadia: Yeah, there you go. So I think that was the main reason why my mom was a bit scared.
[00:11:14] Melissa: Yeah. Right. And did you help her overcome that by modelling to her this kind of, you know, what people are gonna think, what they're gonna think?
[00:11:22] Nadia: Well, initially I didn't cuz I was very young. You know, I did not know. I was also living in fear of what other people think about me. And then as I go through life and experienced, um, and I met my husband who guide me a lot through my life for the last five years. And now I just showed my mom, you know, I don't tell her as much as I maybe should. I don't know.
[00:11:43] Nadia: I just don't think that saying or telling her is something that she wants to hear, but rather than showing her that actually, even though people know my story, there's not a problem. They know my story and that's it.
[00:11:55] Melissa: What are you gonna do about it? I love that. I love what you just said about showing her rather than telling her, because let's face it, right, who likes to be told what to do?
[00:12:05] Melissa: Nobody. And if you are listening and you're like, I don't mind. You're lying, you're lying. Nobody. Mm-hmm. Nobody really likes being told what to do. No. Mm-hmm. But if we just model the behaviour, and even we can even model the confusion, right? Like, half the time, I don't like you. Half the time I don't really know what I'm doing.
[00:12:21] Melissa: I'm just following my heart. So I, I don't know how things are gonna turn out until they turn out. Mm-hmm. Right, right. And so by being who you are, You're modelling to people that perfectionists, I believe is about showing up. Yeah. It isn't about the end game cause we're discovering that. Exactly. So I'm talking way too much.
[00:12:42] Melissa: Tell us more about what you are passionate about doing now. What has your life experience? Because I know you've lived many, many lives, you've experienced many things. One part is what kicked you off, if you like, is being a teenage mom. What has that experience led you to today? What are you most inspired by through that experience that you wanna bring forward in the world today?
[00:13:02] Nadia: The teenage journey is one thing, but I also experience a different journey. But I think for me, it's definitely just showing who you really are and don't be afraid. Of telling your truth and do what you feel like you wanna do, because half of my life, I think even more, I don't know, I just feel like I have to do what other people think that I have to do.
[00:13:28] Nadia: And I ended up getting very angry, getting very frustrated cuz I had to do something that I think people want me to do rather than me. For myself, you know? So when I started to put myself first, I love myself more. I understand what I'm capable of doing. Then the journey just comes abundantly.
[00:13:52] Melissa: Wow. The journey comes abundantly just by listening, putting yourself first. And I think there's a whole belief system around putting yourself first, which is this whole concept of being selfish.
[00:14:04] Nadia: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:14:04] Melissa: And I think this is a conditioning that comes, especially with women, let alone with mothers, where you are not, you are meant to put the baby in everybody else before you, above you, right?
[00:14:15] Melissa: Yeah. Because otherwise you're being selfish, so you have to almost be selfless. Yeah. Which to me makes absolutely no sense because if I don't care about myself mm-hmm. And who's gonna care about me and who's gonna take care of me so that I can take care of other people, I dunno. What are your thoughts on that?
[00:14:32] Nadia: Yeah, for sure. I think the danger part about being selfless is that you will lose yourself in all this. You don't know what your identity are. You don't know what you stand for. You don't know your values, so you are very flimsy in life, whatever. Whenever people push you right, in life, you just go, you know, you're not standing still.
[00:14:49] Nadia: You don't have lalang you know.
[00:14:54] Melissa: Which by the way, from non Malay speakers, lalang is not a nice word. Um, doesn't it mean weed? No. Yeah. Like the lows in the wind. Like this. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah.
[00:15:09] Nadia: Yeah.
[00:15:11] Melissa: You'll just follow what everybody else says, right? Rather than, yeah.
[00:15:15] Nadia: So you, you have no values, you don't stand for anything, you know? So you fall for everything. That's it. You don't have no identity for yourself.
[00:15:23] Melissa:, So your identity becomes very much dependent on who you're with and environment, right? Mm-hmm. So what happens when people like that are alone? Like you said, they potentially feel very lost and they have no purpose. Because their purpose is a hundred percent defined by who they're with.
[00:15:39] Nadia: And you know, life is changing all the time. It's constantly changing. Nothing is permanent, right? So when one thing changes and you'll feel lost because you're so used to doing something. And then when someone goes the other way and you're like, okay, what's next? What am I gonna do next?
[00:15:54] Nadia: And then they fall into this victim mindset where they're gonna go, oh, you didn't do this. I mean, why did you left? What? You know? So they don't, they don't have something for themself. And that's when keep on hanging onto something that you should let go.
[00:16:07] Melissa: Yeah. And in a way, let go because it's already gone. Meaning when people leave, right. And then you're just like, ah, don't go or stay with me. Yeah. I have to admit though, I've definitely been through that in my life. I think we wanted it. Yeah. And these sort of adversities in life, the painful struggles in life. Eventually at some point we are hopefully able to look back on them and go, oh yeah, I went through that hardship, but this is what I went through the hardship because it taught me this. Although I also have some experiences in my life that I went through many times before. I learned anything could, is that only me or can you relate to that?
[00:16:43] Nadia: I could relate to that, but I put a stop on a lot of things. Yeah, so I'm good. I, I mean, a progress is a progress, right?
[00:16:48] Melissa: Yeah. That's true. That's true. I mean, I've been in relationships where I self-sacrifice, right? Mm-hmm. I've had a definitely a bit of the martyr complex, which is all about looking for relationships where they've been quite toxic. Uh oh. Might have some exes listening, but you know, it is what it is toxic, and I am part of that toxicity.
[00:17:05] Melissa: Right. This is not, when you're in a toxic relationship, it's not because one person is, yeah. It's because you subscribe to that toxicity and you feed into that. You kidding? Yeah. Yeah. Right. And it's like this dance, this dangerous dance, which for me was kind of exciting, you know? And it gave me purpose.
[00:17:21] Melissa: Like I could, there'd be drama and then the, that means that I could. Fix the drama. Solve the drama. But it was so taxing for me and soul destroying for me. And when I came out of the relationship, I was aware of it. Right. And I was like, I'm not doing this again. Then there would be another person. It'd be like Uhoh.
[00:17:38] Melissa: Mm-hmm. This smells familiar. Something a facetious. Yeah. But I can't help myself. I know how this is gonna end, but I'm going in anyway. Have you experienced that before?
[00:17:50] Nadia: Oh yeah, of course. Couple of times. And at the end of the day, like you said, progress is a progress I learned, and I'm very lucky to be honest, that at the end of the day, I've met my husband and he's a nice guy.
[00:18:01] Nadia: He is an amazing guy, you know? So then it just really put a stop to it. I think if he didn't come, if his path does not crossed with mine, then I think I will still go through that process a lot longer than I thought it would be, you know?
[00:18:15] Melissa: Oh my God. So, yeah. Oh my God, what does that mean for me then? Geez.
[00:18:20] Melissa: Let's move on from that topic cause we're here to talk about you. So you mentioned teenage mom and you've been through some other experiences in your life and my question was that experience, it's led you to who you are today and what are you most passionate about? Because ladies Jensen, everyone in between.
[00:18:40] Melissa: If you don't know Nadia, cause I've not mentioned it yet, she's got, I know you don't like this word, but I'm gonna use it anyway. She's a influencer. But rather, I'd like to say she's a woman who is using her life experience to inspire other people. And can you share with the listeners what it is that, who are the people that you are inspired to guide or to learn and grow with this a particular type of people, right.
[00:19:05] Nadia: Okay, so I actually didn't do this on purpose. I only realised this as times passes and a lot, a lot of these women starts to just be very, very comfortable talking to me and messaging me through my Instagram. So they're asking me questions like, how did you stay so positive? How do you do this? And how do you do that?
[00:19:25] Nadia: Right? And then I started to realise, A lot of these women are searching for something. They're looking for something. For guidance. For example. For guidance. And I wouldn't say I'm very, I have a lot of knowledge about it. I don't think I'm a professional. I'm not on that level, but I think I have. Slightly more knowledge and experience that can help these ladies in a way.
[00:19:53] Nadia: So mostly women when I realise it's women in a 24 to 35 year old. So as you can see, women who like just finish university and they're still searching for what they wanna do in their, some of them are experiencing a lot of things, a lot of changes. So these are the ladies who I'm talking to. And also ladies who wants to start showing who they really are, not just following the culture blindly, but rather think what is good for them to take and what's not good for them. And then just leave it behind. Right. And yeah, are the ladies who are I'm talking to.
[00:20:31] Melissa: So predominantly here to guide and to inspire women to show up as. Who they're meant to be. And I think this is why we're so aligned. Yes. Cause it's like when I hit a fit in, are we Nadia?
[00:20:48] Nadia: No, we're not meant to fit in, like we're meant to fit out.
[00:20:52] Melissa: Oh, it makes sense. Uh, there's only one Nadia Halim Dziobkowska in the world. There's only one Melissa Indot in the world. And you listening out there in the world, there's only one of you. And the thing is, society has created this system where it's tryna homogenise us, tryna make us be someone else.
[00:21:09] Melissa: Mm-hmm. And in order to be someone else, we have to abandon who we really are. Yeah. And only you can be you clearly. The magic of you can only, I can imitate you, but that would still be Melissa trying to be Nadia. It wouldn't be Nadia, right? And so Nadia, if you are not you, then the wisdom of your experience is gonna be lost, and humanity will be at a loss.
[00:21:37] Nadia: And I think people also wouldn't like me if I'm not genuinely who I am. You know? Because people can feel your energy, people can feel if you're authentic or if you're who you are, right? Yeah. Because the energy that we are sending out and how we behaves, how we consistent, are we like this in real life?
[00:21:54] Nadia: And are we like this offline and online? You know? So yeah, people give, what about all?
[00:21:58] Melissa: Because you show up as you. Mm-hmm. And what about the people who don't like you showing up as you?
[00:22:05] Nadia: To be honest, I get this question a lot, but I don't have a lot of people hating me in social media.
[00:22:10] Melissa: I know. You know what? I don't either. Yeah, I see. I hear people struggle with, what do you call that? A troll? I can't say. Yeah, troll. Yeah. Like haters you were saying, right? Yeah. Okay. Haters. Yeah, haters. I think that's a line too. I think you're right when you just show up as you mm-hmm. Right. Then the people who don't like you, because let's face it. I dunno about you, Nadia. I don't like everybody in the world. For you.
[00:22:34] Nadia: No. Me?. Oh, I can tell you right now who I don't like.
[00:22:38] Melissa: Am I one of them? No.
[00:22:44] Melissa: I mean, I can't be bothered to spend time there. I just go and find who I do like.
[00:22:48] Nadia: Right. No. Yeah. It's just whatever. I don't care about you. You don't like me. You don't like you. It's okay. You move on with your life. Yes, I do too.
[00:22:55] Melissa: Isn't it much easier to just be yourself, because that's like a natural filter. But I think most people are afraid of losing people.
[00:23:03] Nadia: Yeah. I think also in my social media, I don't really. Talk about negative stuff, so I don't attract people who are attracted to negative dramas. Do you know what I mean? Like I'm dramatic in a lot of ways, like when I
[00:23:18] Melissa: Nah, you are not.
[00:23:20] Nadia: No. You don't know that.
[00:23:22] Melissa: Never. By the way, everybody on her little, little, I sent Nadia a little quiz and she put the drama queen. See. But yes.
[00:23:31] Nadia: I am. Right. But, um, yeah, I don't purposely do anything like negative dramas, so I don't pull people who likes those negative drama in my social media. Mm-hmm. So that's why I don't get a lot of hate and people who follows me, who, you know, generally who likes me are people who like, okay. Also enjoy being themselves. I would say that's how it works, right?
[00:23:53] Melissa: Yeah, for sure. Does that mean then that you never experience negative stuff?
[00:23:58] Nadia: I do. I do experience. I do experience whenever I would say something that, uh, it would be like a world conversation and I have a certain values that I hold and people don't pull the same values as I do, then they would say something.
[00:24:12] Nadia: But it doesn't matter for me because I know that there's always people who agree and disagree, right? Mm. So I don't have to really venture into people who disagree with me. It's okay. I like to have conversation with people. At the end of the day, whether the ones who agree or disagree with me think that's part of my learning in life and how I could and should communicate with people who have different mind than I do. So in everything, I always try to look for something that I could learn from.
[00:24:38] Melissa: Oh, Gosh, I love that. Folks. Make sure you take note of that as, as I'm speaking now, I want you to pause and rewind by 30 seconds and listen to what Nadia just said. Okay, because that is so important and it, it really speaks to the whole reason why I even have the Fearlessly Curious podcast.
[00:24:56] Melissa: It's because being in this world, of course, you know, we all wanna belong. We all wanna be seen and heard and feel in our hearts that we have a purpose and that purpose ultimately. I believe it's to be you. But what's more important is we have to be realistic. That we can't just be around, well, we could be just around people that we like and people who are aligned with us.
[00:25:17] Melissa: Mm-hmm. But where and how we grow is to be around people who have a different opinion on life. Right. Or maybe even a same opinion, but the way that we express it is different. That's true. That is. And leaning into that discomfort takes practice because like you said earlier, we always make things about ourself.
[00:25:39] Melissa: But imagine if we could sit and listen to someone speak about something that isn't aligned to your values. Mm-hmm. Right? Mm-hmm. But like you said, make that a learning experience. I'm gonna sit here, I'm not gonna make this about me. I'm gonna listen to what this person says cuz I'm now learning. Mm-hmm.
[00:25:53] Melissa: That there is another point of view. And I don't have to agree with it, but I can still listen. Yeah.
[00:25:58] Nadia: Respectfully, right?
[00:26:00] Melissa: Just, there you go. Have you experienced that in any of your Instagram lives where you've had someone maybe ask questions that made you feel uncomfortable or challenged you in some way?
[00:26:11] Nadia: Oh yeah. Like uncomfortable questions and that caught me off guard. Yeah. Yes, I do have that questions, but I appreciate that because they actually really thought it through like, okay, this is the question I wanna know from Nadia. So it's really nice. But you know, sometimes when people ask you all these questions, you're like, oh my God, my mind went blank.
[00:26:28] Nadia: What am I supposed to say? But then I learned that, just take a moment. Think you don't have to necessarily answer that person right away. Mm. Hold on, pause and think about it and answer, you know, rather than just saying something and it didn't mean an
[00:26:43] Melissa: anything. Mm. And also maybe feeling pressured to say what you think that person wants, you hear, might wanna hear.
[00:26:50] Melissa: Mm-hmm. Even though you embody and you know, you champion, you advocate for. For authenticity. Yeah, I advocate for authenticity too, but I do agree with, I mean, for me personally, sometimes when I allow that pressure to set in, I do find myself wanting to say something. Mm-hmm. Or being drawn to say something I.
[00:27:08] Melissa: That I think they wanna hear and it's not actually my truth. That's true. Have you had that?
[00:27:12] Nadia: Yeah, I had that too. Because I feel like whenever I start wanting to go to that, trying to say what they wanna hear is because I think I don't have enough knowledge of what the questions you ask.
[00:27:21] Melissa: That's a good one. Yeah. That imposter syndrome. I'm want you hundred percent on that.
[00:27:29] Nadia: So like, I'm like, okay, a template. So that's the template. I'm just gonna answer it and that's it. Mm. No, no, no pressure, no nothing. It's a save answer.
[00:27:39] Melissa: Hmm. This is such a great topic to be covering because it speaks to this sort of underlying unconscious pattern that we have.
[00:27:47] Melissa: Right? See, we will default to the template because we abandon ourselves because we think we don't know enough. Yeah. And then again, I believe what you're championing is to say, you know enough as you, I can't challenge what you know as Nadia Haram. I'm gonna say it. Yay. Because I haven't lived your life.
[00:28:07] Melissa: Yeah. Right. Yeah. Um, but I know it is also easier said and done, and perhaps people like you who show up more and more and who champion this, you're modelling it, right? You're not telling people what to do really, really makes a difference. And I appreciate you. I appreciate knowing you. Um, thank you that, that you said yes to being on the podcast.
[00:28:24] Melissa: And as a quick segue, short segue, I'm wondering if you'd share with everybody how we first met.
[00:28:33] Nadia: Oh, okay. So I had a friend, so when I came back to Malaysia from Poland, I haven't met my old friend and I went on a solo trip, and then I met him. So we stay in touch. When I came back to Malaysia, we wanted to meet, so we went to this club because he was one of the owner in the club, right?
[00:28:50] Nadia: So he wants to show me his club. So I went there with him, and then I saw this. Pretty amazing lady. Like, oh, sitting on a chair.
[00:29:00] Melissa: I was like, is that, is that what I thought she was? Is that Melissa?
[00:29:07] Nadia: I went to her and I tapped her and it took you like, what, 15 seconds to actually trying to understand like what's happening.
[00:29:15] Melissa: Is that really Nadia Halim? Yeah, that is true. Yeah,
[00:29:19] Nadia: it was really unexpected. It, I really like it. I was like, yeah,
[00:29:24] Melissa: like so embarrassed cuz first of all I was like, wait a minute, she's not at the end of my phone.
[00:29:30] Melissa: This is. I'm having a bit of a perspective problem here because my eyes couldn't zoom in with you cuz it's like, why are you not on my phone? Who is this really her? Hang on a minute. How come she's in Malaysia? So many questions running through my mind. And then the last one, which which is, Oh my God, how do I look?
[00:29:48] Melissa: Amazing. You are so kind. And as we say, the rest was history. Cuz I'm a huge, huge fan is one level. I have such high respect for the content that you curate. It's not even just create. Create is already super high level of creation, but you curate it because the way that you story tell and you inject humour and lightheartedness and joy into these really important messages about life experience and how we can show up in life and navigate these different chapters in life in a way that is, I'm gonna say imperfect.
[00:30:26] Melissa: It's only imperfect in comparison to what society expects us to be. Yeah, totally relate to, to the rebel that you are. Do you relate to being a rebel? Oh yeah, 100%.
[00:30:41] Nadia: And I'm proud to say I'm a rebel.
[00:30:43] Melissa: Love it. What about a misfit? Do you consider yourself a bit of a misfit?
[00:30:48] Nadia: Yeah, yeah, I do. But then that makes me stand out. Being misfit makes me stand out, makes people go like that.
[00:30:54] Melissa: How, how do you do that? So you'd need to be in the video podcast to be able to totally appreciate that. So, so Nadia, what is, what is the future hold for your followers, your audience, the people that you inspire and motivate, and all these new people.
[00:31:15] Melissa: Right. Who are discovering you? What is in store? What do you have in store for them?
[00:31:21] Nadia: Well, I am very happy to share that I started my company, it's a cosmetic business. It started off with lipstick. Okay. And through lipstick, we're gonna get women to build their confidence through lipstick. I know it sounded like, how do I gain confidence through lipstick? But hold out girl. Hold on. You gotta follow me on the I Instagram.
[00:31:43] Melissa: Oh, smooth love it.
[00:31:46] Nadia: Blip by Nadia Halim, B L I P, by Nadia Halim. And we'll share our journey on creating this, this blip. And we want you to be part of the journey with us. Cause it doesn't make sense for us to just build it only for us. Cuz at the end of the day, I'm happier if I can contribute to other people's lives.
[00:32:05] Nadia: So yeah, why? Why stick. Why lipstick? Because there are two things that I love the most. Lipstick and earrings. These are two things that I wear every single day. Mm-hmm. And it's the best accessory for me. Whenever I wear it, I feel very confident. So, and I know, and I realise through my comments and everything that a lot of women also like what I wear.
[00:32:26] Nadia: Mm-hmm. Which is my lipstick. So I figured, hey, people always ask me, oh, how do you look good in every single lipstick that you wear? I'm like, girl, all I need is just wear them. You know, wear, I'm like a crown. Wow. Don't matter. I don't like it when people go out. That doesn't suit my shade. My my, no. It suits you.
[00:32:45] Nadia: You just have to wear it. Make people think that it actually suits you, wear,
[00:32:50] Melissa: you know what I mean? Wear it with confidence, huh?
[00:32:53] Nadia: Yeah. You wear the confidence.
[00:32:56] Melissa: So that's the whole thing about that. I love that. I love that it's like a vehicle for your, for showing up as who you are. Yeah. Right. I like that you mentioned it as an accessory and it's very interesting cuz you, you happen to be dug under me.
[00:33:07] Melissa: I almost never wear lipstick. And also my mom and I, we have this thing, actually my mom has this thing. Hi mom, about how without fail she'll say to me, You're not wearing your lipstick. Don't forget to wear lipstick. You have to wear lipstick. You're incomplete without lipstick, and this is just her thing.
[00:33:25] Melissa: I have no issues with it anymore. Thank God I grew up and moved through that and had a few loving conversations with her, but I love that. You know, I love that lipstick. I'm now with somebody. You in this conversation. Mm-hmm. And your business is all about helping women find their confidence through wearing a lipstick and owning the different colours, if you like, of lipstick.
[00:33:47] Melissa: Yeah. Because now you've inspired me even, geez, my mom's gonna be like so in love with you. She's like, finally my daughter's gonna wear lipstick. You're giving me a completely different take on it.
[00:33:58] Nadia: Yeah, because you know what I think because whenever I said, oh, just be confident, like how do you be confident? Right? And I've seen a lot of women feel and be more confident by actually wearing something or doing something, you know? So wearing something is one thing, and doing something is another thing. So why don't we just combine 'em together? Exactly.
[00:34:18] Melissa: You know, self-expression. Still last question and paint. I mean, I, I put this gold thing on my face and today I'm not wearing my dots, so why not?
[00:34:26] Melissa: Lipstick? Okay. Yeah. Plus it keeps your lips moisturised. All the better for, yeah. See if you could see what Nadia just did in front of the camera. I'm telling you. Thanks for helping me promote the YouTube channel, Nadia. Get over to the right now. My pleasure. So folks listening, right? If you're not following Nadia, then you literally haven't lived yet, or you haven't felt joy the way Nadia brings joy.
[00:34:50] Melissa: So be sure to check the podcast notes. You'll have all the links. We'll make sure that Nadia Nadia's personal account is there. You thought like what, how many hundred thousand followers or something? That's crazy. Just 92. Oh, what? Oh, sorry. Just 92,000. No pressure. That's about 92,000 people who are open to being inspired by you.
[00:35:12] Melissa: No pressure. Nadia. Is it gonna be a different account for Blip or you gonna be?
[00:35:16] Nadia: Yes, it's gonna be a different account because I think it's just better to have two things rather than to combine and then people get confused cuz then sometimes I'll do something else. Cause I also create other contents beside Blip. Right.
[00:35:30] Melissa: And anything else that ladies, and not just ladies, I guess everybody who does not identify as a woman, I would say can definitely benefit as well because through you and through the content that you curate, people can learn how to be more supportive. To people who identify as women. So it's, even though you maybe target specifically women, it doesn't mean people who are not women can't learn.
[00:35:53] Melissa: Mm-hmm. Through your content. Right. Right, right. Okay. Is there anything you would like to leave our listeners with as we wrap up today?
[00:36:02] Nadia: I think I just wanna wish everyone all the best. In your journey in trying to be more you this year, and I told this to myself and a lot of my followers, that this year is all about building yourself and tapping to that best version of you.
[00:36:18] Nadia: But I'm not saying just leave everyone behind. I mean, start putting yourself more than other people, because I think people will also subconsciously will benefit from you working on yourself.
[00:36:30] Melissa: Hmm. I love that. Thank you. I'm gonna take that on. Thank you. I am gonna add the bit about leaving people behind though.
[00:36:39] Melissa: Mm-hmm. Just cause I feel like over my years of life that it's part of the process of leaving people behind only because it creates space for new people, number one. But also it means that I release those other people who are not on the same trajectory as me to have their own experiences. Mm-hmm. I don't know about you.
[00:37:01] Melissa: Like you said, life is always moving. It's always changing. Right, right. So we can't expect everybody around us to change at the same pace. Mm-hmm. It doesn't mean we're ahead. So, you know, I used to think, oh, I'm way ahead of you. Yeah. But, um, it's not good that we're just different. We just move to different parts.
[00:37:16] Melissa: And I find that in some of my friendships, I've gone separate ways. And for some of them, our paths have crossed again. I think that when we leave people. Behind. We're not only allowing ourselves to have new experiences, but we're also allowing our friends to have new experiences.
[00:37:34] Nadia: That's very true. Now that you said it, it's actually really, really makes sense because a lot of people in my life, I actually kind of left them.
[00:37:43] Melissa: I know it feels painful and scary at the time though, right? Yes. It's.
[00:37:47] Nadia: It does. It does. It does. It's not like it's something, of course you will have feelings like guilt and you feel bad about it. Right. But you have to do what you have to do. Yeah. You know, if. You gotta do what you gotta do. The thing is you don't get to complain, then, you know, just keep being in the same position and complain about it.
[00:38:04] Nadia: No, if you don't like it, then if you don't like that person, if you think that person is bad, just go ahead. Leave them. And then you can start your own journey. And maybe, like you said, in the future, they will.
[00:38:14] Melissa: Cross again, right? Mm-hmm. I love that. Don't just complain. Take action. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And you also said you've gotta do what you've gotta do because if you don't do it for you, who will?
[00:38:26] Melissa: No, no one will. And what one thing's, for sure. If you are in that position or you need some motivation or inspiration or some support, community support, then you will definitely find it. And a whole bunch of joy and love in Nadias. Page head over to Instagram. Make sure you give her a follow. Send us some love, drop her a comment.
[00:38:46] Melissa: Make sure you drop her comment. If you, I wanna join you if you've discovered her for the first time. Let me slow down. If you've discovered Nadia for the first time on a podcast and you come across her on Instagram, make sure you drop her comment so she knows exactly where you, you found. Gosh, see, I told you she, I just, I'm so inspired just to be myself.
[00:39:14] Melissa: Totally nuts.
[00:39:17] Nadia: No, I'm happy. I love it. I love the energy that you bring in in girl.
[00:39:22] Melissa: Okay, thank you, Nadia. Thank you for joining us, for bringing your magic into this space and for the vision that you're gonna hold for all those women out there who are waiting for you to show up for them so that they can show up for the world.
[00:39:37] Melissa: Damn. That was a good one. That's a good ending. I don't like it. Oh, are we ending now? We should. Really? Oh, no, we should end.
[00:39:45] Melissa: Okay. So folks, thanks for joining this week's episode of the Fearlessly Curious podcast, and remember to be fearlessly curious. Until next week, byebye.
[00:40:05] Melissa: If you want more, make sure to subscribe so you never miss a new episode every Friday. And please leave a review if you enjoy this episode. Don't forget to send me your curious questions and experiences as inspiration for future episodes. Your anonymity will be respected. If that's what you prefer. For more guidance and support, join my emotional healing, mindfulness and music community over at melissaindot.com. See you next week.
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