Ep : 208 - How Ayurveda Benefits your Mental Health & Well Being with Komal Chopra

Show Notes

Are you curious about how to live authentically?

In this episode of the Fearlessly Curious Podcast, Melissa Indot interviews Komal Chopra, an inspiring wellness and meditation coach.

Komal shares her journey moving from the U.S. to Malaysia, navigating motherhood, from following a traditional path to embracing a life filled with joy, intuition, and authenticity.

She discusses navigating cultural expectations, embraced her curiosity, leaned into meditation, her why, the risks and sacrifices she made, and how ayurveda played a crucial role in her self-awareness and emotional well-being.

Connect with Komal Chopra :

LinkedIn : https://www.linkedin.com/in/kchoprajodha

Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/the_meditating_chef

Here are the highlights from this episode:

03:14 The Joy of Living Authentically

03:46 Breaking Free from Societal Norms

13:11 Cultural Insights and Personal Growth

23:06 Embracing Modern Approaches to Wellness

24:49 Meditation and Intuition for Kids

25:24 Navigating Technology and Intuition

37:29 Empowering Future Generations

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Resources:

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About Me:

I help you lead with fearless authenticity by smashing the self-imposed heteronormative stereotypes that keep you playing small through emotional healing inner child and inherited intergenerational trauma. Create a purposeful life of your unique design by disrupting societal norms and expectations of who you should be. Explore mindfulness, fearless curiosity and loving kindness through the lens of Human Design to thrive as the person you are born to be.

Learn more about my coaching method and join my emotional healing, mindfulness, and music community at melissaindot.com.

TRANSCRIPT

[00:00:00] Melissa: And welcome to another episode of the Fearlessly Curious Podcast. And today I have with me my friend, gosh, I love sharing the wisdom and the gifts of my friends with all of you. We have today my friend Komal Chopra, and she is a wellness and meditation coach, teacher, mentor, and everything in between that.

[00:00:24] I'm and if you have the privilege that I have of becoming her friend, that's always an added bonus. And I've been talking about having Como for a while now. So I'm so happy to finally have you here on the Fearlessly Curious podcast on our season two, Como. It's great to have you.

[00:00:41] Komal Chopra: So nice to have, to be here, Melissa, and so grateful for your friendship.

[00:00:46] And yeah, I think it's just such a lovely experience to be surrounded by other like minded individuals like yourself and to collaborate and bring more goodness to the world. So happy to be here. Thank you.

[00:01:02] Melissa: Beautiful, beautiful. Thank you. So Komal, you are a wealth and well of wisdom, lots of different wisdoms, ancient wisdom, modern wisdom, present wisdom, and the unique wisdom that you bring through.

[00:01:17] And what I mean by that is the authentic lens. That you bring to knowledge that's already out there, right? Because there's so much out there already. But what I appreciate is your authenticity. It's the, it's your fierce authenticity. It's your courage to really express your understanding of wisdom through your lens.

[00:01:41] And that's why you're here today to share that. So I'm going to start with a very small question. What's your why?

[00:01:47] Komal Chopra: Sure.

[00:01:48] Melissa: Why

[00:01:48] Komal Chopra: do you do what you do? Yeah. It's changed over the years and I think most recently it's because I believe that we're all put on this earth. With a specific strength or a specific wisdom. We've all, every single one of us has come onto this planet with certain wisdom. And what I've experienced is when I'm not fulfilling that wisdom, I don't feel good.

[00:02:22] I feel mentally, I feel run down. I feel exhausted. And this work that I'm doing that I feel so privileged that I've found my purpose, so to speak. And so to be able to share that with others really enlivens me. It excites me. And what I do for work when I'm, whether I'm doing, delivering a workshop or whether I'm working one to one with people or whether I'm on a podcast like I am here with you, I feel so energized.

[00:02:56] And for me, that is my body signaling to me that I am doing what I meant to be doing. So that's my why is really just to fulfill, the divine wisdom that has been given to me and just help share that with others.

[00:03:13] Melissa: Grateful for that. What I'm hearing, Komal, is your why is to follow your joy. It's to do the things that light you up. Yeah. Which, my goodness. That's the gift of life itself, isn't it? To feel joy and satisfaction and fulfillment. One

[00:03:30] Komal Chopra: hundred percent. One hundred percent. And I tell that to people all the time that this life that we have, this life as Komal Chopra, as Melissa Indot, this is, we're meant to enjoy this.

[00:03:46] We're meant to, but I think too many of us get caught up in, in the challenges and the things that let us down. And then we become a bit disenchanted with life. And I think whatever you are being served, however you're being served, the greatest honor that you can give yourself is to create and gain more awareness.

[00:04:12] Understand yourself at a deeper level to know what it is. Why are you on this planet? What is your why? What are you, what's your purpose and joy that you're meant to be practicing in this life?

[00:04:26] Melissa: What is your why? What is your joy? I can't agree with you more. Like you say, the greatest gift is life itself.

[00:04:35] And what I see when we look at nature, we look at the world around us, the world, the planet, if we get, when we take humans out of it, especially is thriving. It's constantly thriving in its seasons and cycles. Everything nature needs. life needs, it takes and it gives, it provides within this sort of infinitely abundant relationship.

[00:05:02] And it's not a codependent relationship. It's an interdependent relationship. Every element it's doing, it's being its thing and is part of this sort of, very complex yet simple tapestry that works. It's in this intelligence, right? And somehow or another, and it's masters a concept of evolution.

[00:05:29] as humans. And we can go for years talking about ego and control, as humans, we feel like we want to control. We want to get a grasp on things. And for many reasons, again, many probably for further podcast conversations systemically everything has been There's a word systemically, everything has been put into a system, like how we should live our lives.

[00:05:52] The idea may be one can argue to control the others to simplify it is to give guidance and structure, but ultimately what's happened is we have spent our lives. And I'm talking about generations before us being put into a path, you go to school, you have formal education, you get your A levels or whatever the form is, secondary education.

[00:06:16] You go to university or college and you qualify as something you gain that. Formal academic education, they go out, you get a job, you find a partner, you get married, you start a family, you have 3. 4 children, or you can't have 0. 4 children. You get the mortgage, you buy the house and the car, you acquire, and then you save for a rainy day and ta da, that's life, right?

[00:06:37] Which is all well and good, but what we're not encouraged to do is like you say, is to know ourselves. Like in that path, in that structure, how do we bring our uniqueness through? And being a, a meditation coach and a wellness coach as well. When I know that when we, I know that you would have a lot to say, which I'm going to invite you to say, about how not being ourselves, how abandoning who we are, how by, by being Lugging into the systems, how by not being aware we move away from who we truly are and how, and that affects our wellbeing and our mental health.

[00:07:22] Yeah. So self awareness or awareness, as you mentioned for me. Is rooted in being curious. That's what we're here to do. I'm going to stop talking now and I'm going to seed the curiosity in you. Sharing your why. What risks have you had to take in your life until now to live your why, to live in service the way you do and to fill yourself with joy to fulfill that purpose?

[00:07:51] Komal Chopra: Yeah. So

[00:07:52] Melissa: what risks

[00:07:52] Komal Chopra: have you taken? When you look at my life on the outside, and I think this is what people see and what they perceive to be true is they look at my life on the outside and they think it is this wonderful, wonderfully perfect life. Because just as you were mentioning, I lived that.

[00:08:09] Like I was the, growing up in the U. S. in a small town, population 25, 000 people and in Kentucky. And grew up with Indian immigrant parents. So I had to live this dual life, but it was that kind of stereotypical, go to school, get a good education, find a husband, get married. And what I'm the youngest in my family and the only girl.

[00:08:40] So I've got two older brothers and life was great. I have no complaints of my childhood, but I was very much cushioned. And it was, and I got married at 25, and it was almost like I went from the care and cushion of my dad to then my dad just passing me over to my husband, and we fell in love, Serb and I met, we dated, we fell in love.

[00:09:05] And it wasn't like a typical kind of traditional arranged marriage or anything. And I think the biggest sacrifice that we made is we moved across the world. We moved from the U S to short stint in London, and then came over to Malaysia. And that really brought on a whole new realm of.

[00:09:30] Opening of my mind, opening of what I knew. And we moved to a place where we didn't know anybody. We didn't know a single soul in Malaysia when we moved here, London, we knew people, we had family and things like, so that was an easier move. And then we started a family here and I had twins for the first time without any support at all.

[00:09:53] And no family support, nothing. And I say, it's a sacrifice. But now on the other end of it, I can see that sacrifice is actually what strengthened me. In the end, it strengthened my relationship with Serb and that becoming a mom for the first time to, the twins was, and that was my initial why, but that was the start of my spiritual journey.

[00:10:22] And that kind of blossomed to, where I am today. But I'd say the biggest sacrifice was just living, on the other side of the world, away from family, away from what we knew and having to expand my mind and open my eyes. Curiosity and really move from that move from a critical mind to more of a curious mind.

[00:10:46] And it took, a few years to do that. It didn't happen overnight. And I think it definitely coincided with the fact that I became a mom and had a rebirth myself. Yeah, that is, is. Definitely the biggest sacrifice that sparked a lot of things after that.

[00:11:05] Melissa: Okay. It's interesting. Thank you for sharing that.

[00:11:08] What huge steps that you've taken, have movements you've taken to create a new reality for yourself, moving away from the safety and security of everything you know, to step fully into the unknown is quite something.

[00:11:22] It's interesting though, because I asked what risk did you take and you spoke of sacrifice.

[00:11:30] Yeah.

[00:11:31] Yeah. That's what I love about these podcasts, would you say? Taking risks is the same as making sacrifices.

[00:11:38] Komal Chopra: Yeah. I think in some cases, probably not in all cases, but I do think some cases it is, and, we came, it was that typical thing, trailing spouse, following the husband, husband had the job.

[00:11:51] So we came and it started out with excitement because we were newly wed ish, newly ish, and moved here without kids. And then got pregnant and had our Children here. And here we are now almost 14 years later. So it's been an incredible journey and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

[00:12:11] But yeah, I would say that in this case, it was a risk. That was a sacrifice into a sacrifice. And And then now it's changed and it's and I think that's the beauty of life is that things can have, the same thing can have multiple meanings as you go down that timeline of life.

[00:12:31] Melissa: Yeah, I agree. When you take a risk, you're taking a gamble really, right? Cause you're stepping into an unknown and you have to make space for that. new step into the unknown in order to make space, you've got to give something up. So I guess that's what you mean by the sacrifice. So what patterns or what stereotypes then in the risk that you took and the sacrifice that you made, what stereotypes, what kind of structured beliefs, belief systems do you think you disrupted?

[00:13:00] You mentioned being a trailing spouse. And so what kind of stereotypes did you break? Did you liberate yourself from either knowingly or unknowingly? In this

[00:13:11] Komal Chopra: journey, I think it was, it's interesting because I think you being a child of immigrant immigrants born in the U. S. And I, again, I grew up in a small town, so in that immigrant journey, speaking of my parents and their generation.

[00:13:28] They were so new to a culture that was the complete opposite of what they knew. So a lot of these immigrants stuck to what, who they knew and what they knew. And in my case, it's not just other Indian families. But it was so specific to say, not even just other, it was like North Indian families. And so that was what I knew.

[00:13:55] So I knew this like Southern American culture because that's what I grew up in. And then at home, it was like this Northern Indian culture. And then I moved to Malaysia. And Malaysia is, the Indian population here is primarily South Indian. And I think what it did for me is it really busted a stereotype in thinking that, oh, I only know Northern Indian and food is that's my favorite food and this and that.

[00:14:26] So it was more like your own kind of thing, likes and dislikes. And coming here. I am so appreciative of breaking down. the stereotypes that I might have had in my head breaking down all of these things because I realized that it made me look at India as more of a as a unified country.

[00:14:50] And I started to make connections between North India and South India and East and West and traditionally, if you look at India which you probably know, it's so separate. It's one country, but within that one country, you've got a multitude of sub countries and different languages in from one state to the next, different foods, different types of dress.

[00:15:12] And it's a real big melting pot. And what I've, what I realized is that in North India, we are. Truly confused people, in some ways, because we're so far, we always say that the Tamils are the true Indians. They are the original, they are the traditional real people. The OGs. Oh, geez.

[00:15:38] 100%. Oh, geez. Yeah. My first helper who is still, I call her my kid's a mama, but she's Malaysian Tamil. And I learned so much from her about a culture. I grew up as a, this first generation Indian American, not really knowing why I'm doing things. And again, it was, and I think this is touching on the Ayurveda, my mom would say, Oh, we don't mix dairy and fish, but then you would ask her and she wouldn't know why we do that.

[00:16:11] But she just was told parents. And whereas if I spoke to my helper, she would know why, because she knew the why's. And what I love about Malaysia is that. Because you've got this melting pot of different cultures and it has been preserved. These, all these cultures have been preserved after three, four or five generations.

[00:16:36] And you've got access to traditional Chinese medicine. You've got access to Ayurveda. You've got access to even, I would say even, You probably have to find it, but I would say maybe even the Orang Asli kind of traditional ways. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sure that I've never looked for it, but now I'm curious and I'm thinking about, and I seek it out, out of curiosity.

[00:16:57] Melissa: And just to just pop this in here because we have listeners from all around the world, the Orang Asli that Komol's referring to are the indigenous people of the land, Malaysia.

[00:17:08] Komal Chopra: And I would say that. Really opened up my mind opened up my learning, and it really brought me to be more curious.

[00:17:19] And I think I've been one of those people where stereotypes have been around me, but, and I say this honestly with a humble heart, I've never really been someone to be so stuck on the stereotypes, and perhaps that's being the youngest in the family. And seeing what's right what I felt is right and what's wrong and feeling like, oh, that doesn't feel a little right to me.

[00:17:41] So I'm going to be a little bit more open minded, but I've always quieted my thoughts. I've never voiced them out. I'm the youngest and I, should keep those thoughts to myself kind of thing, right?

[00:17:53] Melissa: Yeah, I hear you. I'm the youngest too. I think as the two types of the youngest is the ones who retreat and observe.

[00:18:02] And I think our culture has got to do a lot to do with that. Be seen and not heard, but also being the youngest because the energy of our older siblings is, we look up to them. So we're observing more that's definitely about as near with you. So my question now leading to Ayurveda, which is one of the wisdoms that you bring, one of many wisdoms that you bring through.

[00:18:24] How did you navigate? So you took these risks, you had to make big sacrifices. There were stereotypes that you were breaking free from. Maybe not maybe with not such a big struggle because you were quite pretty open minded and you naturally were an observer and curious, right? So you use these I call it pushbacks, like anything that's different to what you're used to.

[00:18:50] You leaned into it with your curiosity, with this open awareness, natural open awareness and move through it. But in the moments of struggle, and I'm wondering whether there were any particular events. Leading up to where you are now, whether it's travel, changing where you lived adjusting to a new culture, a new country, new ways of being, motherhood.

[00:19:12] And I'm going to drop this in now as a seed, your kids starting school education system, right? And your beliefs around that, I'd love for you to just share with us a little bit about in those moments, whatever chapter of struggle you choose, how did you navigate those struggles? What tools did you tap into specifically to navigate those struggles?

[00:19:37] Komal Chopra: Yeah,

[00:19:37] Melissa: that's a good question.

[00:19:39] Komal Chopra: So the one was actually, so I would say the first thing, the curiosity of Ayurveda really struck me after I delivered and understanding confinement and that is such a big thing here. So confinement is that natal period and a lot of cultures have different confinement.

[00:20:03] Rules or way of doing it. I don't like the word rules, but way of doing things right. And the whole idea is to in the Indian culture. We have 40 days. So it's those first 40 days after postnatal. And what they say is the first 40 days set you up for the next 40 years. of your life. So those first 40 days after giving birth are so important to for the mother's physical and mental well being.

[00:20:33] And so my mom was here for my first delivery and she was, I had actually had a Malay confinement lady. I'm sorry, no, she was Indonesian. She was an Indonesian. Okay. That came and so she was doing all the Indonesian things and then my mom was feeding me all the Indian traditional Indian things and she didn't know why she was doing it because she gave birth to us in Canada without her mom.

[00:21:02] So she just had to like, and back then there was obviously no phones, so it was just whatever she remembered. If she's the eldest in her family, so it was, she remembered her mom having some of the sort of confinement foods. So she didn't really know, and I became really curious about this. So that was the first part.

[00:21:22] And I would say the second part was I would say about 18 months to two years into being a mom. My twins were two years old, twin boys. Just. it was like we had just, there were like, not just one bomb, but like two bombs thrown into our marriage and and my husband decided to leave his job and start a business as you do with 18 month old twins.

[00:21:49] And I gave my blessing, I was like, yeah, go for it. Again, I'm not sure what I was thinking there. I clearly wasn't thinking very clearly. And we did it. And we struggled financially for a little while. And I remember having an anxiety attack. It was the first anxiety attack I'd had.

[00:22:07] And not knowing really what it was, but having that feeling where you are not in control of your body, you're not in control of any, you're like, I remember finding it difficult to breathe and that was such a scary. Experience to feel and luckily, I think because serve and I have lived away from friends away from, close friends away from close family, we had built this strong foundation as in our relationship.

[00:22:43] So he was the person that I leaned on during that time. And I'm also very fortunate that my mom was my first or is my first meditation teacher, and I used to watch her meditate from as far as I can remember, she taught me how to meditate when I was a teenager. Teenage rebel. So in, in an in and out and I leaned back into that and I went back to her teachings and I never really resonated with her way of teaching me and you could say it was a bit old school, but my eldest brother.

[00:23:25] Has always been very curious about wellness and mental health. And so he gave me more of a modern approach to meditation and neuroscience. So again, I leaned into that and I took on his advice. And it's that thing when you're in a desperate time, like I, after that anxiety attack, I made a solid decision in my life.

[00:23:49] I said, I do not want to be a depressed mom. I do not want that. I don't want my kids to grow up with this cranky me, cranky version, and always naggy version of me. So I made a decision right then and there. I want to be an inspiration for my kids. I want to be someone that they look up to. Someone that when they go out to find their spouse or partner, they want to find someone that has some of those characteristics.

[00:24:25] That I have and so that was a really big motivation for me to go down the path that I went down and that continued. So my biggest, we have three boys. I talk about the twins a lot, but we do have three boys and my. My biggest pride and joy are all three of my kids. And one of the things that I started doing is because I started on my spiritual path, when the twins were two, I started meditating with them around that time as well.

[00:25:02] And as I, I didn't really know why I was meditating with them, but it was just something I thought, okay let's just do it. It's fine. Hoping that it gave me some sort of peace. And so what I realized out of that, again, as time, the timeline went by, I realized that I actually wanted them to stay connected to their intuition.

[00:25:24] And what I realized is that as we move along, In this world, we've got technology, we've got all these things that are telling us we're inundated with information. How do we decipher what's right and what's right, wrong, what's right for us and what's wrong for us. Not that things are innately right or wrong, things are just things, but what is information is useful for us and what information is not useful for us.

[00:25:53] And I always lean back to my intuition and I feel that our body gives us those signals that guide us to tell us what is useful for us and what's not useful for us. And now with AI, artificial intelligence, there's all these things, potential fake news. We don't know what is going to be Actually, now we don't know what's going to be right, what's going to be true.

[00:26:21] What's

[00:26:21] Melissa: manipulated.

[00:26:22] Komal Chopra: Yeah, exactly. But we can always come back to this, or this rather and understand what's right and what's wrong. What's manipulated, what's not manipulated. What is useful for me, what's not useful for me. What is going to be healthy consumption, what's going to be unhealthy consumption.

[00:26:42] And as my kids went to primary school. I started to realize

[00:26:48] Melissa: Can I pause you there for a moment? Because I feel like we're going to another chapter and I just want to recap because you've shared so much there already. Yeah, for me. You talked about making this decision. Rather your husband, Serb, made this decision when you had the kids to become an entrepreneur, start his own business.

[00:27:08] And you said, and you gave him your blessing, like at the most crucial time, you had twins, like 18 months, right? He left like a secured job to start his own business. And you literally said this I gave him my blessing. Clearly, I'm not sure I was thinking, or clearly I wasn't thinking, but you went for it anyway, right?

[00:27:29] You supported him anyway, and you had financial struggle. That to me really stood out when you said that because where you led to, you followed what felt right to jump into the unknown. Because more times than not, when we think about, when we think logically, pragmatically, practically, in a linear fashion, Yeah.

[00:27:49] All the odds are against you, meaning there's way too much risk, but you just went with your feeling. You didn't second guess. Second guessing comes from the mind. It doesn't come from the body. You trusted your body intelligence. Then you went on to say you had the support from, from a very early age.

[00:28:05] Your first meditation teacher was your mother. First of all, I think that's so beautiful. So honoring your mom. And then you mentioned about being the rebel, that it went in here, one ear, in one ear and out the other. But that's, again, is the interesting thing about being out of our minds is that clearly didn't, yes, it went in one ear and out the other, but your body remembered.

[00:28:29] Because you went back to it, you went back to something that was familiar, but through your curiosity and your authenticity, you never, you were clear, her way, her methodism didn't resonate with you. So you seeked another way, you found a new teacher or mentor through your brother who opened your eyes, or rather your eyes were already open because curiosity is about widening the eyes more.

[00:28:54] Yeah. Like a child. It's I use this analogy, if we could really reconnect with that inner child's gift of curiosity, you give a child an ice cream. Every time you give the child the ice cream, this is what they do. And it's like it's their first time ever. They relish everything. You look at their body somatically.

[00:29:17] The eyes, the drool, the body language Oh, first time having an ice cream. Imagine if we lived like, way, but that's what you did. You were like, I want to go back to meditation. Yeah. Mom is not my flavor. I'm going to search for my flavor. You found it through your brother, another blessing, honoring your brother.

[00:29:37] And then found and made your own way. And then went back to it again to give it and gift it to your kids. Because yes, we can be curious about what is. Aligned, because you said, we're like, what's right for us and not right for us. Supposed to just plugging into what everybody, media or books or our peers even, and sometimes even our coaches and teachers and mentors, and often with no ill intent, it's really to support us, but not everything out there is for us. That's what, why we're different. We have different. needs and views, but that also facilitates our authenticity. If we get clear on what is right, what is aligned for us. in our body intelligence, then it supports how we show up as who we're meant to

[00:30:31] be.

[00:30:32] And you are a clear model of that through your struggles, through generational conditioning, you've remained so open. And in those moments where there was struggled, You, there was struggle. You were able to tap in back to these resources, inner resources and evolve the resources, expand the resources as you evolved and expanded and continue to expand and then give it to your children so that they too can be the people they're born to be.

[00:31:10] Komal Chopra: Yeah.

[00:31:11] Melissa: Mindful of how you want to be a support and not a hinder to them, but even more beautiful than that is the fact that you want to bring this and offer this and serve humanity with it too. It's not just you and your family. So I just wanted to cap that because I want to shine the light on everything you've just shared as your personal story is, it is, has so much value as your personal story and experience, but in the way it enriches us.

[00:31:42] Here on this podcast and this business. So thank you for sharing that. Now I'm going to hand the mic over back to you to, you wanted to talk about and share a little bit about your kids getting into, to, into school, I think, something like that. So I'm going to hand it back to you.

[00:31:58] Komal Chopra: Yeah. It comes back to the whole intuition piece and I started to think about, I've always told them that they're gentlemen in training and I still really believe in this.

[00:32:11] Traditional aspect of gentlemen, and I really want them to be able to respect everyone, men and women, understand the boundaries that there are boundaries. You have between people, even between amongst the three of them. And trust me, it's so hard to get three boys to understand each other's boundaries.

[00:32:35] But, but yeah, so that was always the cornerstone of everything is this whole gentlemen in training. And when I think, and it work in progress for me and something that I'm very curious Is the whole masculine feminine energy and understanding that. And uh, I'm actually in, in progress or in development stages of actually creating a program, which is called boys to men, homage to my first concert I ever went to back in.

[00:33:09] But, and the whole idea is how do we, because I see that boys are missing out, we're in this big feminine movement, which is amazing, but I do think it's being routed in a little bit of an extreme direction. And what do we do with the boys? The boys also have to understand that they've got to move into this new realm as well, and support the women that they're with.

[00:33:36] So what does it mean to have this masculine energy, right? So every human being has masculine and feminine energy. And it's about understanding and having this awareness of what is masculine energy, what's feminine energy. So this intuitive and creative sense is more the feminine energy. The structure and the logic.

[00:33:58] And then the masculine energy but you can't have one without the other, you've got to have it there, right? And of course, levels differ person to person, right? That was the big thing that I really wanted with the boys is to understand this intuitive and creative energy, and we sent them to school, just we thought, oh, it's, and what I'm seeing with schools is Yes, a part of you as a parent wants to send your kid to a good school that has good academics, a great back, a great academic background and success and all of these things, right?

[00:34:40] And you want something that has, Some values that enrich into the children, something more than academics, right? And a little bit, and I think people would be lying if they don't say this, but a little bit of it is the ego comes into play. And that's where the name comes in. You also want to find a good, reputable school too, right?

[00:35:07] So there's a little bit of that, and a lot of people won't admit that. But I will admit that, yeah, of course, we had a bit of that as well, right? And the biggest thing was, we sent them to a great school. And what I started noticing, and especially after COVID, was that whatever, it's a system. So whatever we were putting them in, whatever we wanted to bring into them, their intuition and all of that, Was actually being knocked out of them.

[00:35:35] So

[00:35:36] Melissa: what Yeah. Do as you're told, do as you're told and do as you are told, without space. Not to question or challenge, but to be curious so that because the way the system is built is that if anybody questions it, it's seen as being a challenge as opposed to a way for individuals to learn who they, they are through a system, who they are and who they are not.

[00:36:02] Yes.

[00:36:03] Komal Chopra: Exactly. Yeah. And so for me, it was, this was again, a big risk that we took. We told the kids, we said, Hey, if you guys want to homeschool let's create our own version of school. And you can learn what you want to learn. If there are certain topics you want to go deeper in, we can do that.

[00:36:23] So we left the decision up to them and it was about a year ago. This time last year, one of the twins came home from school and he said, yeah, I'm ready to be homeschooled. I was really surprised. Took the other twin a little bit of time, but he was okay with it. Number three, we didn't really give him much choice, but he had just started primary school.

[00:36:47] So yeah. He didn't really know but we also knew that there's a little bit of a sibling bonding when you're being educated in the same way. And we didn't want him to miss out on that. So we went against the grain, we went against the norm, and now we're homeschooling the kids. And I'm sure that as I choose to only look, when we share this information with people, I choose to only look at the people that are actually curious about it.

[00:37:15] And I'm sure that there's a lot of people that we've told Who think we're out of our mind and we're crazy and that our kids are going to go nowhere. And that's okay. They can have that opinion, but it's not something that we put energy towards. And I think that's the key and that's where I would love to see more people go to is to trust your intuition, trust your gut and guide your kids down the path that they are meant to cultivate them to how they are actually meant to be.

[00:37:44] So

[00:37:45] Melissa: what a beautiful example of. The power of following your intuition, and also creating aligned relationships. Cause clearly you and Seb, you and your husband are so tight on this and the values, holding those values of. Of curiosity and experimentation. Cause at the end of the day, it is an experiment, but you're in it together.

[00:38:05] And your story your personal journey is going to be inspiring to so many people who are listening to this. But I know also particularly for the Fearlessly Authentic community. Because we've got a couple of parents who are, Curious about homeschooling or curious about unplugging from the formal structured education and some who have already stepped into the homeschooling space and with children who are of different ages.

[00:38:34] So they're a great, you're a great example of what is possible and also being clear on people are going to have their opinions. So it's just like those who are maybe seemingly shaming you. By saying you're crazy, your kids are not going to get anywhere are entitled to that opinion just as you're entitled to the an alternative opinion, which is, I think you're crazy for keeping, maybe keeping your kids in to be brainwashed.

[00:39:02] Yeah. With propaganda, or to continue, teach them how to live by somebody else's standards and somebody else's rules. So I love this. What people think of you is none of your business and I love that you live to that, so thank you for sharing your story here on the Fearlessly Curious podcast.

[00:39:24] Your why the tools that you use. And your journey ahead. I'm super excited for this. program you're developing, Boys to Men. We, I'd love to talk to you more about that and maybe have you back on the podcast when it's ready, because you're developing something that focuses on supporting the men of our future or the men of today, the future of men today.

[00:39:47] Exploring the masculine and feminine, like you said, and how one doesn't exist without the other and the two need each other, we have need to have that structure so that the intuitive flow and creative flow doesn't just Go everywhere. It's held within the structure, the masculine and feminine and how it's relevant to boys.

[00:40:07] Men, boys to men, what a brilliant name. And that resonates with me also because I'm actually developing a program for men. And I don't think I told you this developing a program for men to tap into what they never got as boys. Yeah. To step into. And that to say, it's never too late because let's face it as women and powerful women, right?

[00:40:31] We have been oppressed for generations to the point of maybe living out this victim script a little too long, pointing the finger, shaming men, blaming men. We talk about patriarchy, misogyny, all real things. Where is our place as women? To shift the perspective, change the narrative for ourselves so that we're no longer enabling misogyny and patriarchy and toxic masculine through our toxic feminine.

[00:41:05] At the end of the day, we are the mothers of humanity, right? We birth life. And so if we blame men and now we've got many more genders as well, so we blame all the genders that are not female. We have to remember who brings them up. It's us. So we need to take care of our toxic feminine and also our toxic masculine within us.

[00:41:29] So this is, I'm so excited for your boys to men program. I'm so excited. To get my program out, out too, which is, oh, it's like we're mirroring each other. Come on. I feel in our friendship. We do so much. So I'm so grateful. Thank you for being yes. Saying yes and being here on the podcast you and I can talk a lot about a lot of things.

[00:41:53] So I'm definitely going to have him back. And I mean it when I say let's talk about the programs. Maybe wait for us to collaborate. That would be awesome. Yeah. To our listeners. Please make sure you share this podcast with your friends, your family, your community. There's so much here about awareness, about autonomy, about empowerment, both for men and women, about the tools that are available out there.

[00:42:19] But really we can do nothing about with these tools and we'll never find these tools if we don't tap into our curiosity and expand our awareness. Check out the links that guide you to Como. We're about to end this podcast cause she's going to jump into the private community to give us an in depth talk about Ayurveda and the impact it has on your mental health and emotional wellbeing.

[00:42:44] So if you're listening back to this podcast, the links will be down there for you to join and watch. The term Komel's Talk, because it's exclusive for the community. I want to stop talking now. I'm going to end by simply saying, Komel, thank you so much for being you, for being curious, for being authentic.

[00:43:03] I have two last questions for you. One is, the first is, if you were a song, what song would you be?

[00:43:09] Komal Chopra: What his song is playing in my head right now.

[00:43:12] You two, but I can't think of the name of the song. I don't even, I can't think of it. in my head.

[00:43:18] Melissa: Okay. Name it in three notes. Folks name it in three notes. . Yeah. Put you on the spot. That's how we do things. We do things on the fly. And the final question is. What is, would you like to leave your listeners with today?

[00:43:36] What takeaway would you like to give them?

[00:43:38] Komal Chopra: The, okay. This one is more for the females. One of the most valuable pieces of advice that my mom gave me when I was going through my hard times was as the feminine, as that kind of dominant feminine energy. It's energy, right? Yeah. As that energy, we actually have the ability to impact change.

[00:44:06] When we change ourselves, we have the ability to transcend that change to everyone around us. And as the feminine, it is so important to own who you are, to empower yourself, step out of the victimhood, like you were saying, and empower yourself. And get to understand yourself. Gain a great sense of self awareness.

[00:44:31] Understand yourself at an emotional level. So that you get closer to understanding your purpose, getting closer to your intuition, so that you start listening to all the signs that the universe is presenting you to where to go. So I know that was a few things but that's it. Yeah.

[00:44:54] Melissa: Own your energy. Komal. Thank you. Own your energy. Be the person you are born to be. Komal, it's been an absolute pleasure. Until next time, folks, hit that subscribe and follow button and I'll see you on the next episode of the Fearlessly Curious Podcast. Bye for now.

[00:45:12] Komal Chopra: See you, Melissa. Thank you, guys.