EP.20 - An Introvert's Guide With Seema Batavia
SHOW NOTES:
In a world that often rewards extroverted personalities, introverts can find it challenging to build an online presence that aligns with their strengths and values.
But that doesn't mean it's impossible.
As an introvert herself, Seema faced her own challenges and obstacles when it came to putting herself out there online.
But through her journey of self-discovery and personal growth, she learned how to leverage her strengths and build a successful online business that aligned with her values and personality.
Join me and Seema as we dive into the world of introverts and discover how to be quietly powerful in a noisy online world.
Here are the key takeaways from this episode:
02:15 - Seema shares her mission in the world
03:53 - Introverts are the underdogs of the social world
09:26 - There’s no one type of introvert, we're a spectrum of individuals
20:02 - The stronger your foundation is, and the more you believe in what you're saying, it becomes incrementally easier to start showing up
22:53 - Part of being an expert or an authority in a subject area, is the ability to be open to expanding your knowledge
23:43 - You can be the authority in your experience
24:54 - The winning and the magic is in the observation and the discernment
36:41 - Whatever thoughts you have in your head about yourself, they are changeable
ABOUT OUR GUEST
Seema Batavia is a Confidence, Visibility & Personal Branding Coach, who helps introverted entrepreneurs and professionals build their online presence and overcome their insecurities.
With over a decade of experience working in different corporate sectors across three continents, Seema has successfully developed brands in packaged foods, organisations, and real estate.
As an introverted person herself, she understands the challenges that come with putting oneself out there online and helps others come out of hiding and shine with pride. Seema believes that there is a world of opportunity waiting for those who have the courage to go towards it and is dedicated to helping others achieve their goals.
Connect with Seema through her Instagram page @seemabatavia or her LinkedIn account and learn more about what she does on her website seemabatavia.com.
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About Me:
I help you lead with fearless authenticity by smashing the self-imposed heteronormative stereotypes that keep you playing small through emotional healing inner child and inherited intergenerational trauma. Create a purposeful life of your unique design by disrupting societal norms and expectations of who you should be. Explore mindfulness, fearless curiosity and loving kindness through the lens of Human Design to thrive as the person you are born to be.
Learn more about my coaching method and join my emotional healing, mindfulness, and music community at melissaindot.com.
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TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00]
Seema: I thought it was all the people's fault. They're all being mean to me. That, you know, they're not inviting me to things and they don't understand me and the world is awful and woe is me. You know, all these dark teen thoughts that you have. Yeah. But at some point when maturity kicked in and that self-awareness kicked in, I realised that I was the problem, not them. People can only know what we show them.
[00:00:28]
Melissa: Hey there, welcome to the Fearlessly Curious Podcast, your safe space to listen, lean in, and learn the diversity of human experiences through the lens of fearless curiosity. When we learn more about each other. We also learn more about ourselves. How? Because when we listen to each other's curiosities and experiences, we relate to that which is in common, and that which sets us apart, gives us something to reflect on. We learn through and with each other. I'm grateful to you, the global community, for your curious questions. The Fearlessly Curious Podcast cannot exist without you.
[00:01:16]
Melissa: Well, hello, hello, hello, another episode of the Fearlessly Curious Podcast, and I am extremely excited to have today with me, Seema Batavia. And I'm gonna check, did I pronounce your name correctly?
[00:01:31]
Seema: You absolutely did, and that was surprising because I get Batavia a lot as well. But Batavia is absolutely right. You pronounce it accurately.
[00:01:39]
Melissa: Well, I'm glad I've got off to a good start. So Seema, I could do a great job in letting everybody know what you do or what your mission is in this world, but I know I would never do it as much justice as if you tell everybody what your mission is. So I'm gonna invite you to jump straight in.
[00:01:56]
Melissa: What is your mission in the world, Seema?
[00:02:00]
Seema: I have to say, Melissa, I absolutely love the way you've phrased that question because it's a fairly common question, right? Like what do you do in life? But I love the way you phrase what your mission is because that is very different from your vocation, so to speak, because you can fulfil your mission in several different ways.
[00:02:15]
Seema: But my mission essentially is to help introverts get seen, okay? And this can be in the form of empowerment. This can be in the form of education. This can be in the form of finding yourself. This can be in the form of anything that is required for them to put themselves out there so that they can be seen by the world, and that's what brings me the most joy.
[00:02:39]
Melissa: Ah, right there. What brings you joy? I believe that when we are inspired or driven by what fills us up, that is true service. And I have definitely had the opportunity to see you in action, so to speak, on the incredible Instagram lives that I've seen you host and lead and facilitate. And that's where I first came to know you, uh, fangirling you from in my own introverted way cause I don't think I've ever interacted with you in a live, I've just kind of sat back and watched and in awe and taken lots and lots of notes.
[00:03:10]
Melissa: So I'm gonna dive straight In Seema. I'd love to know what it is. I should say why. Why do you feel called to help introverts show up?
[00:03:21]
Seema: To be honest, Melissa, I think I'm helping my past self and I never realised that I was helping my past self until I was actually in the process of helping my past self. When I saw myself in the clients that I was helping, it became very apparent that the need was for my past self and what's become very clear to me. As this experience has unfolded of being visible in the online world and being able to make a name for yourself and being able to create something very substantial in this space, is that introverts are the underdogs of the social world, and this is either an identity that they have adopted throughout their life or it's been thrust upon them as well.
[00:04:04]
Seema: It's a combination of both because we grow up believing certain things about ourselves. Because we've heard certain things about ourselves growing up, and this unfolds and shows up in the process of you wanting to be visible in the online space. Whether we realise it or not, the beliefs that we hold and the limiting beliefs that we have about ourselves, about the world, about people around us, they can make or break your experience here.
[00:04:31]
Seema: And to me, what became very apparent is I am doing this for myself on a daily basis. I'm an introvert myself and I know firsthand what it is to feel unworthy, what it is, to feel insecure, what it is to feel unseen, what it is to feel invalidated. All of the messy cocktails, right? And to actually deal with that and be able to show up with conviction with confidence.
[00:04:58]
Seema: And full belief that you deserve to be here is not a small endeavour. So I realised that the more I was doing this for myself and the more I was helping these clients who were coming up that this is it. This, this is what I'm meant to do. I'm meant to help my past self navigate this and fulfil that in this mission that I have. It just feels very rewarding.
[00:05:19]
Melissa: I mean, this resonates with me on so many levels cause I also identify as an introvert. And many people when I tell them this are like, what? You? An introvert? Like you can get up on a stage and sing and people have this perception, right. And this is the thing about labels. As human beings, we want to belong.
[00:05:35]
Melissa: And we create these labels through our language so that we give ourselves a sense of belonging, but without awareness, of course, these labels become limits, right? And even with the label of introvert, like how would you define an introvert?
[00:05:47]
Seema: That's a good question, Melissa, right? Because if you look at the textbook definition, it's just a personality type that recharges by spending time alone versus an extrovert who recharges with people around them.
[00:06:00]
Seema: However, what happens as a result of being an introvert is when you're spending too much time alone. When you are isolated for a big chunk of your life, because that is what really recharges you. We spent too much time alone, which leads to shyness, which leads to anxiety, which leads to maybe some personality disorders or lack of mental wellness.
[00:06:22]
Seema: You know, there's a lot that comes up as a result of not having that social exposure. It doesn't mean you don't have the inherent competence or being good at what you do or the confidence of you being around people and you know how to conduct yourself. That's all there. But the conditioning isn't there. And because the conditioning isn't there, over time, interchangeably, society has thrust these terminologies upon us that, hey, if you're an introvert, you're a certain type of person. Maybe you're shy, maybe you're nerdy, maybe you're geeky, maybe you're this kind of person. And a lot of times it is true because we have been hidden for so long, but an introvert as a terminology textbook definition does not mean these things. It's just how you recharge.
[00:07:06]
Melissa: I love that you brought that in really early in this conversation about the textbook definition that basically introverts recharge on their own because there's a whole bunch of other labels, which you just mentioned, right? Introverts are perceived as being shy. Yes. Maybe quiet, geeky, nerdy. But the truth is these labels are given in perspective to a society that is all about showing up loud, if you like. Especially in the world of social media, right. You have to be seen, you have to be in a way where everybody's scrambling to be seen and heard. But I believe that as introverts, we can show up in a way that is unique to us.
[00:07:43]
Melissa: So I can be quiet, be perceived as quiet, but it doesn't mean I'm not switched on. It doesn't mean that I'm not contributing to the conversation through my quietness, as in I'm taking in all that information and perhaps waiting to be invited for my opinion. Waiting to be invited for my point of view, because I have a sense that I just simply share my point of view. People who aren't ready for it aren't going to receive it, so in a way, I'm conserving my energy waiting for that invitation. What are your thoughts on that?
[00:08:13]
Seema: I absolutely agree with you because I'm quite similar. And here's the thing about how people perceive us, right? It's that especially when you are younger, you're trying to make sense of who you are as a person.
[00:08:24]
Seema: You don't quite have the understanding or the maturity yet, and that's the same for peers around you and the world around you at large. So they're constantly trying to slot you somewhere. They're like, is she talkative? Is she funny? What is she? You know, what kind of person is she? Is she popular? Is she charming? Is she the one who grabs the attention or does she sit quietly in her corner? What kind of person is she? So if you grow up a certain way where you don't even know you're an introvert yet, you've kind of realised these things about yourself that, okay, when I'm out, I'm a bit exhausted, but when I'm alone, I'm a bit more recharged.
[00:08:58]
Seema: So let me spend more time alone. To you, this is just the way I am. I might be a bit strange, but this is who I am. But to other people, they're like, she's a really quiet kid. We wonder why. They haven't quite made sense of who you are yet, and they wanna slot you somewhere. So you grow up with these labels as she's quiet or she's you know, isolated or she just spends a lot of time alone.
[00:09:20]
Seema: And when it comes to conserving energy, you have full right to do it as you want to because there's no one type of introvert. Yeah, we're a spectrum of individuals, right? So when we feel as if I would like to guard my energy and my conversations until I'm invited to speak up. To the other person, they might think that, okay, she just doesn't wanna talk.
[00:09:43]
Seema: She's a bit standoffish, let's just not invite her at all. So there are these extreme polarities that start to show up, and that's what leads to a lot of misunderstanding, miscommunication, and internalised angst.
[00:09:57]
Melissa: Oh my gosh. Yeah, and that definitely affects mental health and wellbeing, especially as an introvert, and I'm speaking for myself right now. The pressures, as you mentioned, when we're growing up, when we're younger, trying to find a place where we belong. Trying to fit in the number of times that I've abandoned what felt right for me to fit in, to speak up to whatever it might be. The toll on my health, my mental health, these belief systems, and how it made me feel like I wasn't enough, like I'm not loud enough, I'm not talkative enough.
[00:10:27]
Melissa: I don't know enough. It made me even question sometimes my own sanity because I felt like I needed to fit in. And so for someone like you with your mission, which is to create, not just educate people on what being an introvert on a spectrum can look and feel like, but be so inclusive with it. So what I understand is not only are you creating a community and a support system for introverts, but it's so inclusive that you're also educating people who don't identify as an introvert on how to support introverts so we can live in a more inclusive society and world.
[00:11:00]
Melissa: And I'm wondering what happened? Was this something in particular or maybe a series of events that happened in your life that gave you this calling that switched? Because I know that you were in a different industry and I know that our listeners are gonna wanna know the why, but also the how, how, how is it that you came to do what you did?
[00:11:19]
Seema: So at a certain point, Melissa, I became very proud of being an introvert. I think I probably identified this sometime in my early twenties that, you know, I think I have introverted tendencies, but I'm also a fairly confident person. I believe in myself. I know I'm good at what I do. I did really well in school, in college, at work, so I know that the competent side of me is very, very driven.
[00:11:41]
Seema: I'm a driven individual, but I also know that I have insecurities, that I'm a shy person, that I am very quiet, that I have social anxiety, that I have anxiety in general, so I have all these things as well. And it took a lot of self-awareness for me to actually figure out that I'm not just a really weird person, because I grew up believing this.
[00:12:06]
Melissa: Ok. Could I just pause that for one second? You said I'm not just a really weird person. That means, by the way, listeners, the way I'm interpreting this is that Seema is fully owning the fact that she is a weird person and not just one. So I relate because I am definitely very weird and proud.
[00:12:23]
Seema: And that connotation was negative for me for the longest time because when I grew up, I had noticed a lot of patterns. I had noticed that I wasn't making very close friends, or that I wasn't always in the middle of the social group, or I wasn't always invited to things or I wasn't having the social experiences that people were having around me. And for the longest time, Melissa, I thought that it was them.
[00:12:46]
Seema: I thought it was all the people's fault. They're all being mean to me. That, you know, they're not inviting me to things and they don't understand me and the world is awful and woe is me. You know, all these dark teen thoughts that you have. But at some point when maturity kicked in and that self-awareness kicked in, I realised that I was the problem.
[00:13:06]
Seema: Not them. Right? People can only know what we show them. So if you're showing up with a sullen or a very standoffish, or an attitude that says, you know, please don't get close. They will not get close. They will say, Hey, it's okay. You keep your distance. We will not talk to you if you don't want us to. And that's internalised.
[00:13:27]
Seema: So to me, at some point I was like, oh, come on. I'm a really weird person. There's something really wrong with me. Okay. But I also saw the evidence that, okay, I can pretty much achieve what I put my mind to so I know that's there. So this became kind of like a juxtaposition of my personality and my competence, these two things.
[00:13:46]
Seema: And my work became my identity for the longest. My corporate job, my title, all of that became an identity because I was excelling at work. I was really good at what I did, but there was this weird part of me, you know, this person who might be a bit antisocial or, you know, she doesn't go to work lunches and she doesn't, you know, do, it's not her thing.
[00:14:08]
Seema: And when I started my online journey, which is a whole other beast, which is conquering that fear and showing up online for myself, I started realising just how lonely it was and it was extremely taxing. Emotionally very, very taxing. And I was helping other people build their own brands. So my background is branding and marketing for those who are listening.
[00:14:31]
Seema: And I help other people build their personal brands, corporate brands. That's what my profession is. Okay. So I was trying to help individuals build their own brand online, and I started working with more and more people who were introverted. And I started seeing the same personality types that I was my weird self, you know, that was showing up.
[00:14:51]
Seema: And at this point, I'm extremely proud to be an introvert, and I've been proud to be an introvert for a long time. So I started pivoting towards that more, Melissa, because I'm just like, you know, helping you get online is great. Helping you build your brand is great, but it's a different beast when you are an introvert.
[00:15:09]
Seema: It's just another level of achievement when you are an introvert and you have that courage to show up online, and you're just showing up as your most authentic self. So the main reason that I made the switch was because I started seeing more and more of me come alive when I was working with these people, and it became such an endeavour for me to empower them and to provide a platform for them to say that it's okay to be an introvert.
[00:15:35]
Seema: Because when I first started talking about it, no one was talking about being an introvert. The word introvert was kind of like taboo. This was a couple of years ago. Now it's everywhere. But when I first started talking about it, I got a lot of backlash as well, because this was into my online journey or, and when I had made a significant brand already. They're like, why just introverts? Why not extroverts? What about us?
[00:15:58]
Melissa: Oh, I was gonna ask you what, what did that backlash look like? So the extroverts got offended, did they?
[00:16:03]
Seema: It was. It was more like, why only them? Why nobody else? Why? So are you becoming elitist? Are you segregating people? What's going on here? Now this is where the power of nicheing comes in. Right. I am a huge advocate of nicheing because I feel like you can get very specific with the message. But when you already have an audience who like what you do and who follow what you do and they enjoy what you do, you suddenly switch gears and say, hey, I'm no longer creating content for you.
[00:16:34]
Seema: I'm creating content for only these types of people. It's right for them to take offence, right? Because they're like, we've been loyal to you. What about us? You know, why can't we follow you? But here's the thing, an introvert doesn't have a set personality type, right? I'm talking about insecurities.
[00:16:51]
Seema: I'm talking about deep self-worth, deep-rooted issues that you haven't worked through yet, which a lot of extroverts work through as well. So to me, this mission shift was extremely necessary for what made me the happiest because I started seeing a pattern of the type of person that I really looked forward to helping, and the things that I really enjoyed talking about.
[00:17:15]
Seema: So when I talked about introverts, my heart was like, are we talking about introverts today? So to me it was, it just felt right in my heart and in my gut. So that was a necessary shift.
[00:17:25]
Melissa: And I think what you said earlier about this is something that you were doing for your former self. It's like you were the person you are now, the person for others that you needed when you were going through this, and that is so beautiful.
[00:17:38]
Melissa: What a beautiful way to be called to this mission. You mentioned anxiety early on and I wanna just check in if you would be comfortable to talk a little bit about that for our listeners. I have a perception about anxiety cause a lot of my clients have anxiety too, and I'm very curious to know how your anxiety show up and more importantly, How you navigate them, because you mentioned that when you're an introvert and showing up online without the camera on is already one thing, but having the camera on is a whole different level. So I'll just recap that. What kind of anxieties do you still face and how do you navigate them?
[00:18:20]
Seema: So for me, I feel like my anxieties are all encompassing. They're very deep rooted fears that come from childhood, and if I sat to make a list of them, there'd be a laundry list. Okay. Some big ones are fear of failure, or a fear of judgement, fear of ridicule, you know, fear of success even.
[00:18:39]
Seema: And a lot of these times when you're in this online space and you're setting out to say something or write something. There's this debilitating fear that makes you think, shit, what if I do this wrong? People are gonna hate this. Like people are going to march me on the streets and say, stop. We don't want this anymore.
[00:18:58]
Seema: Every single time you're showing up, Melissa, it's a risk. And a lot of people, you know, the more you do it, it's like a muscle. It does get a bit easier, but when the anxiety kicks in, it's more like you're doing it over and over and over again. It's like you've never done it before, so it feels. This tightness in the chest or tightness in the gut and anxiety usually manifests in some kind of bodily sensation.
[00:19:20]
Seema: There's some kind of fear that's happening and that's how you identify that, okay, this is some kind of anxiety coming up. Mine's not extreme fortunately, but it's prevalent enough for me to understand that, okay, this is something kicking in. Let's take a step back. So for me, what really works is really taking stock of what I'm doing.
[00:19:39]
Seema: At this point, I know that there are a lot of people who are waiting to hear from me, and I don't want to let them down. So that's what keeps me motivated and keeps me going. But to those people who are just starting out and they do not have that evidence yet, that your word has meaning and people are waiting to hear from you, is to have a very, very clearly defined foundation.
[00:20:02]
Seema: The stronger your foundation is, and the more you believe in what you're saying, it becomes incrementally easier to start showing up because it's coming from the heart. You're not just doing it for surface level vanity. You're not just doing it because you know you're gonna get the likes or the followers or anything that is not very definitive.
[00:20:22]
Seema: Right? Yeah. That really, really helps you kind of look at the evidence and say, okay, this is something that's truly me. I'm doing this for me. And of course, you know, as far as exercises go, there's breathing exercises, you know, self care. And depending on the person that you are, there's ways to kind of calm yourself down from that anxiety.
[00:20:42]
Seema: But for me, it's always to get back to reality and look at why am I doing this and why is it important. And just put the focus off for me and on the audience saying, this is why I'm showing up. This is not for me, it's for my audience.
[00:20:57]
Melissa: I love that leaning into service, the big why, what brought you here in the first place and creating that foundation, like focusing on.The way I understood that in terms of foundation is focusing on what you absolutely know. I think that when, at least for me, when I fear failure and I fear that I'm, I get this whole thing about, oh, you are a fraud. Someone's gonna catch you out on something, and I'm like, catch you out on what? If I get caught out on something
[00:21:23]
Melissa: There's a learning experience right there on two levels, right? Maybe I'm gonna learn something I didn't know before. That doesn't make me wrong. That just makes me more knowledgeable now that somebody has informed me of something. There you go. So right now I'm feeling anxiety cause I'm like, oh, but I need to be perfect on the podcast,
[00:21:41]
Seema: No, you do not. And imposter syndrome is such a big one, Melissa. It's a really, really important one to bring up because we feel as if we need some kind of marriage to show up and speak our truth. It's very funny because it says who? Like who's going to call your fraud, who is really telling you that you're not good enough to be here? And it's fascinating because we put this on ourselves and then it just really keeps us and becomes a barrier for us to show up.
[00:22:12]
Melissa: Yeah. And I think also in terms of what society puts out and we're part of society, it's a language as well. We talk about being experts at something. Mastery. Being an authority on something. And I think what can happen is if we take that so seriously, that we take it to the point where I have to be perfect. Right? But if we can lean into that, the self empathy almost, and the softening of the fact that we, the minute you think you know it all, you actually know nothing. And then as I mentioned earlier, if someone corrects you or gives you different types of information, that actually makes you a better person.
[00:22:44]
Melissa: It's what we choose to focus on. Do I focus on the fact that I should have known that, but who says I should have known that? I know what I know. I also don't know what I don't know. And part of being an expert or authority in a subject area, is the ability to be open to expanding your knowledge. You are an authority actually on your personal experience as opposed to what information is out there for the general public. What are your thoughts on that?
[00:23:11]
Seema: I absolutely love that I'm applauding here. Melissa, being an expert on your personal experience, and I a hundred percent agree because you've been through what you've been through, no one else has gone through what you have.
[00:23:24]
Seema: And I agree with what you've said about the labels of expert and mastery and, and the internet's obsession with gurus and YouTube University, so to speak. And I understand that the chase for authority is high, and it is a very attractive chase of wanting to be the authority. But you can be the authority in your experience.
[00:23:45]
Seema: You have lessons that you've learned from your past. You have things that you have unpacked from your past, and there's things that you've learned that other people may not know. And we take our own experiences and our own wisdom for granted. We think everybody knows what we know, but that is not true. You know something on a much greater level than someone else does, and that is what makes you valuable.
[00:24:10]
Seema: But more than that, what really makes you attractive is the vulnerability, the ability to show up, fumble over your words if you have to, and just keep going, even if you know that it might invite people to say things, or even if it's going to lead to discussions or some kind of discourse and trolls and whatever shows up at your door.
[00:24:34]
Seema: It's still your door. Right. This is your home, and you have the ability to kind of stay behind your door and say, Hey, I'm completely open and vulnerable here, but you don't get beyond a certain point. I see you, I accept you. But then it's up to you whether you are internalising everything that's coming to you or whether you're just observing.
[00:24:54]
Seema: Because the winning and the magic is in the observation and the discernment. So when you are able to very objectively take a look at the reactions of people, and the feedback of people from your work, and you're able to learn from it from a very humble point of view, from a student of life point of view.
[00:25:16]
Seema: And being able to apply that to yourself if you want to. That's what makes people really, really invest in you as an individual, because anyone who claims that they know everything and they're not open to discussions, they're not open to feedback, they're not open to anything but no vulnerability.
[00:25:34]
Seema: They're just up there on their high horse or their pedestal. That's not what makes a community, that's not what really leads to a big people, a big group of people wanting to invest in you as a person. That's what the difference is between those who are able to be vulnerable and those who are not.
[00:25:53] Melissa: Yeah, so beautifully expressed. I so appreciate being in this space, you and learning from me right here. What a privilege to have you on the podcast. Once again. I'm so grateful that you're here, Seema. I really love for everybody, the listeners to know how, first of all, do they get to know more of your work? I mean, apart from the platform that you're most visible on, would that be Instagram.
[00:26:12]
Seema: Yes. That's my mothership, Melissa. That's what I call, it's the mothership.
[00:26:15]
Melissa: Okay. And any listeners now who wanna know more and perhaps want to come under your wing, within your community, learn from you as a coach? You mentioned the community, how important it is for us to grow together. Learn and grow together and really live life authentically, as you mentioned, because our authorities, our personal experience.
[00:26:36]
Melissa: So we spend our entire lives trying to fit in and be like everybody else. then that unique way of living life that you have, that I have, that all the people are listening to, that wisdom is gonna be lost if we don't walk our own path. So folks, you're listening, Seema is your person to go to, to support you and guide you and help you walk that path.
[00:26:57]
Melissa: If you fully, as an introvert, however being an introvert looks and feels like for you. So how do they get to you and what do you have as a platter of offerings or one offer for everyone?
[00:27:11]
Seema: Absolutely love that, Melissa. Thank you for that question. So Instagram is my mothership. My username is seemabatavia.
[00:27:19]
Seema: One word, no, nothing in between. So you can always reach out to me there by message or a comment or however you'd like. And I also have a website, seemabatavia.com that just has more information on it. If you'd like to learn more about me and currently I have two main offers, Melissa. One is an introductory course about your personal brand, which is a really good way to learn how to start showing up and what it takes to build a foundation of an online presence.
[00:27:47]
Seema: And I always recommend people to go through it if they have the capacity to do that, because you get to know my teaching style, first of all, and how I think and how I teach, and also give you more detail on how to get started with a personal brand. So that is a digital course. It's a self-paced course.
[00:28:04]
Seema: The second offer that I have is one-to-one coaching. I work with individuals to help them overcome their insecurities and build their online presence and just build their personal brand as a whole. And this is the most rewarding way to work together, I feel, because the proximity that you have in working with someone over a period of time really takes you on a journey together and helps you make a difference, a transformation from the inside out.
[00:28:31]
Seema: So I have a one-to-one program if you'd like to work with me one to one. I can send you information if you reach out to me. And I have one more offer. Upcoming, Melissa. Which has not launched yet, but isn't the worst. I think you're the first person I'm telling in public.
[00:28:47]
Melissa: Oh my God. Exclusive right here. Fearlessly Curious Podcast. You hear it. Heard it first. Right here.
[00:28:51]
Seema: I cannot tell you more information. However, I will say. To watch this space because Melissa's the first person to know about this in the grander public. But my goal is to be able to serve more individuals in a capacity, which is, let's say, not as personalised as one-to-one, but not solely a front-end digital course.
[00:29:13]
Seema: So something in between there. So I'd be able to help more people, but watch this space, I hope to announce this in a couple of weeks, hopefully. Okay. Oh, once all my docs are in a row.
[00:29:25]
Melissa: That's very exciting. Do you have an email list or newsletter that people can sign up for, or do they literally just get on Instagram and get connected with you there in order to sort of get the first look on this new program?
[00:29:37]
Seema: Absolutely. So I have a free masterclass that you can sign onto and that will immediately get you on my email list. If you just wanna sign up on my email list, you can just do that on the website by itself.
[00:29:50]
Melissa: Okay, great. So I had asked, just as we were wrapping up, I had asked Seema, if you were a song, what song would you be? And I really went for it because the first answer I got was anything deep, focused yet upbeat. Yes. And then I leaned in and I was like, yeah, but is there one specific song. And she was like, no.
[00:30:14]
Seema: I like that, and you know, this is so funny because I have never been a music person, so to speak. The only time I listen to music is when I'm working or if I'm focused. I never listened to music just for leisure and I, I'm not quite sure why that is. I think I need to look into that.
[00:30:30]
Seema: However, what I gravitate towards is like deep progressive music or like dance music or anything that's instrumental. Anything with lyrics. I don't gravitate towards it as much unless I'm going out and it's just playing. But I've found that it really helps me focus. It really helps me get centred and just focus on the task at hand.
[00:30:51]
Seema: That's when I enjoy music a lot more. So when you ask that question, I'm like, this is a good question. I have no idea . I don't know what my favourite song is. So watch this space, everybody. Watch this space.
[00:31:04]
Melissa: I love that. I love what you said, I don't really listen to music, you know, for leisure. I listen to music when you're highly focused, when you need to focus and when we wanna do deep work, and I love that you are intentional with that because that's one of the things that I bring to my clients and to my work. Which is music. I feel like it's such an undervalued resource because people technically look at music as a form of entertainment and only entertainment, but it's such an incredible tool, like you're using it for focus, for deep work and actually for helping you regulate our emotions.
[00:31:38]
Melissa: So when you mentioned earlier about when I asked about anxiety and how you prepare and what tips you give your clients, I would also suggest to you the next time when you are preparing or when you have that anxiety show up, is also to lean into music because for me, what I understand for anxiety from my personal experience is when I'm way too much in my head.
[00:32:00]
Melissa: I'm not in my body anymore, right? Cause I'm thinking about all the things that will probably never happen or all the things that happened in the past that might happen now. And of course if I focus on what went wrong before, I'm probably gonna make those same mistakes cause I'm so focused on them. So the way I get outta my head is I listen to music. That's why I asked you.
[00:32:19]
Seema: Oh. That's such an insightful way to look at it, Melissa. Because the funny thing is, and I've said funny too much, the way we overthink is we overthink about the past or we overthink about the future. We never overthink about the present. So we're never in the present because we're so busy catastrophizing or thinking that what we've done might be repeated or we won't be able to succeed the way we want to.
[00:32:45]
Seema: So we're overthinking front and back, but we're never really in the moment. So to use music for this is absolutely perfect to stay grounded and stay centred. And what I've discovered lately is candles. I've been enjoying scented candles because for some reason on my last birthday, Melissa, everybody tried to give me very therapeutic and very, stress-management focused gifts.
[00:33:13]
Melissa: What are they trying to tell you? I think there's a, I dunno, there's a pattern.
[00:33:17]
Seema: Like I got a gift certificate for a massage. I got, uh, some incense and some candles and, you know, all this fun stuff and I'm like, hmm, I might be putting something out there where people think that I'm interested in stress-management. So basically, candles have been helping. Scented candles. Nice dim-lit room. It really brings you back and just relaxes you.
[00:33:41]
Melissa: Yeah. Getting into the senses, right. Sense of smell, hearing, touch. You talked about massage. Yeah. If you like to sing or hum, actually humming is a really good thing. But anyway, enough about that. I actually hate asking this question because I hate it when people ask me. I was gonna ask you if there was one thing, one tip you would give people out there, what would it be? But I'm not gonna say that even though you said that, instead, I'm going to say, now I put myself into a corner, an invisible corner. What would you like to leave everybody with today?
[00:34:14]
Seema: Oh, what a great way to end. I would say, just start believing. I would say that whatever thoughts you have in your head about yourself, they are changeable. Okay? And thoughts are not facts. The way I would really encourage everyone to think about the possibilities and capabilities and just what is possible for you out there, not just today, but a year from now, six months from now, five years from now, is anything that you believe is possible for you. And I say this as the most logical cynic out there. Okay? I'm someone who is highly, highly logical, and I'm always looking for evidence and looking for very tangible things.
[00:35:00]
Seema: I can assure you that the moment that you start believing and you start thinking that this is possible for you, things will start to shift. And I urge you to be kind to yourself and, and not put yourself in a box because the box is as big as you make it, and the world is your oyster. You can do anything.
[00:35:19]
Melissa: Wow, I felt that. Thank you. Thank you so much, Seema, for being a guest on the Fearlessly Curious Podcast. And folks, if you're listening, you know what to do. You need to get on and over to Instagram, and you'll find all Seema’s details in the notes for this podcast. Whether you're listening to this or whether you're watching the video podcast, you know now. You’re being reminded that you don't need to walk this path alone. You've got Seema, you've got her community, you've got her, and you've got this. Thank you again, Seema. Thank you so, so much.
[00:35:50]
Seema: Thank you so much for having me. This was such a delight and I admire you and appreciate you so much and I can't thank you enough for having me. I appreciate it.
[00:36:03]
Melissa: If you want more, make sure to subscribe so you never miss a new episode every Friday. And please leave a review if you enjoyed this episode. Don't forget to send me your curious questions and experiences as inspiration for future episodes. Your anonymity will be respected if that's what you prefer. For more guidance and support, join my emotional healing, mindfulness, and music community over at melissaindot.com. See you next week.
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