EP.16 - The ADHD Entrepreneur's Journey with Ari Scott
SHOW NOTES:
People with ADHD have the most creative ideas and problem-solving abilities that can create changes and impact this world positively.
Unfortunately, society operates on a fixed structure. Because of that, many brilliant ADHD entrepreneurs and business owners are not given equal spaces and opportunities to thrive.
Ari was misdiagnosed as a child and faced numerous adversities along the way. Eventually, she carved her unique path to discover her true purpose.
Being a successful entrepreneur herself, Ari is on a mission to revolutionise traditional business systems and empower 100,000 ADHD-owned businesses to use their creative problem-solving abilities to make a global impact.
Join me and Ari as she shares her story from being misdiagnosed and labelled as a “problem child” to finding her niche in the business world, and leveraging her ADHD-driven creativity and problem-solving skills to create effective solutions.
Here are the key takeaways from this episode:
1:58 - Ari shares how and why she was called into this great mission
2:46 - People with ADHD are creative and have brilliant ideas that are intrinsically empathy-driven
6:26 - The world is not designed for the ADHD mind because the ADHD mind is designed to change the world
8:22 - Ari talks about her solution: Redesigning the traditional systems of business to align with ADHD brains
10:39 - The impacts of being misdiagnosed as a child and not having access to the right tools and management
22:10 - How to plan a business when you have ADHD
23:59 - The ADHD Podcast and how to become an ADHD business coach
ABOUT OUR GUEST
Ari Scott is an ADHD Business Coach & Consultant, Entrepreneur, Writer, Influencer, Speaker and ADHD Advocate and she’s on a mission to build 100,000 ADHD-owned businesses.
She supports ADHD entrepreneurs in redefining their business journey in alignment with the neurodiverse entrepreneurial experience.
Ari has connected with, coached, and supported thousands of ADHD entrepreneurs and proven that when given the right support, the ADHD mind creates the incredible, impactful and life-changing businesses the world needs now more than ever.
Learn more about Ari through her website adhdinbiz.com. You can reach her by sending her an email at ari@adhdinbiz.com. Ari is also active on her Instagram page @the_adhd_entrepreneur and LinkedIn page Ari Scott.
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About Me:
I help you lead with fearless authenticity by smashing the self-imposed heteronormative stereotypes that keep you playing small through emotional healing inner child and inherited intergenerational trauma. Create a purposeful life of your unique design by disrupting societal norms and expectations of who you should be. Explore mindfulness, fearless curiosity and loving kindness through the lens of Human Design to thrive as the person you are born to be.
Learn more about my coaching method and join my emotional healing, mindfulness, and music community at melissaindot.com.
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TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00]
Ari: I think that, and I genuinely believe this, that people who have ADHD are the people who have the creative ideas and problem solving abilities to make the changes that frankly, the world needs now more than ever.
[00:00:22]
Melissa: Hey there. Welcome to the Fearlessly Curious Podcast, your safe space. Listen, lean in and learn the diversity of human experiences through the lens of fearless curiosity. When we learn more about each other, we also learn more about ourselves. How? Because when we listen to each other's curiosities and experiences, we relate to that which is in common, and that which sets us apart, gives us something to reflect on. We learn through and with each other. I'm grateful to you, the global community, for your curious questions. The Fearlessly Curious Podcast cannot exist without you.
[00:01:09]
Melissa: Oh my gosh, I'm so excited. Fearlessly Curious Podcast is about to have one of its most exciting guests ever. Ari Scott, the ADHD entrepreneur. Is here, is in the house. I'm just gonna cut to the chase. Ari, I've been waiting a long time to talk with you. Um, tell us where you are right now.
[00:01:30]
Ari: I'm actually, I'm at the beach in the camper van that I just bought and built a couple of months ago, so I’m, right next to the ocean, so I really can't complain
[00:01:41]
Melissa: So basically you, you're just roughing it really, aren't you having a tough life?
[00:01:44]
Ari: No, I am. I am. Yeah. I gotta be one of the only people in the world to build a business, like to reach business success and then revert back into essential choosing living on the road.
[00:01:57]
Melissa: And speaking of tough life, then, let's dive straight into it. First of all, before we reveal anything more. The mission that you are on, and I kind of gave it away right at the start. Before we dive into that bit, I'm just gonna go straight to the why. Okay? Sure, sure. Just do things in reverse order. Normally we go, what do you do? You know, you and I, we don't do normal things, do we? What's the point? Everybody else is doing it. So why do you do what you do? Why have you been called on this great mission of yours?
[00:02:26]
Ari: It's actually funny that you asked me that because I have like a few different whys that all combine. So when people ask me, I always forget which, why is that I told them. But I think it's kind of twofold. So one is like a personal explanation and one is like a, of course like global impact explanation because it’s pretty big, right. So to start with that one, I think that, and I genuinely believe this, that people who have ADHD are the people who have the creative ideas and problem solving abilities to make the changes that frankly, the world needs now more than ever. Right. I'm sure we could all agree on that, and I think that the problem that happens is that through not managing the challenges that come with ADHD quite often those brilliant ideas don't get to see the light of.
[00:03:17]
Ari: They, in terms of the businesses that they're looking to create with them, which will have this impact, right? So people with ADHD are intrinsically empathy driven. So you have this group of people with these brilliant ideas that are led by empathy that could and will have the impact to make the world a better place. But, you know, in a sort of ironic balance, the same thing that gives them that power is holding them back. But when they manage that thing, they have that opportunity. So that's, you know, that's my mission. Build or support 100,000 ADHD owned businesses in, in doing that. Right. And then on a personal side, I think it's mostly like a chip on my shoulder, essentially, I had that almost like a traditional ADHD start where I was expelled from school.
[00:04:01]
Ari: I've been fired from jobs time and time again. I was misdiagnosed with ADHD, so labelled a problem child, and I think that once I got my own diagnosis, it sort of gave me almost like a second lease on life. Like I felt like, okay, now I've got this understanding of why all this has happened and what's going on, it would be a waste to not utilise that to now. Build something of meaning and impact now that I understand these things and share that. So yeah, I know that was a bit of a long-winded answer, but I think it sort of covers the two sides of the coin on that for me really well.
[00:04:33]
Melissa: Not a long-winded answer at all. In fact, you gave us so much information and kind of in true ADHD style I would say, but very concisely. You covered so many parts that I'm gonna see if I can just break that down a little bit. First of all, what stands out for me? A hundred thousand ADHD owned businesses. That is your mission. To impact a hundred thousand ADHD owned businesses. I'm saying it again so that our listeners can really take that in. And all those of you who are listening who have, uh, ADHD diagnoses, I hope if you've ever thought that you are not good enough for this world, that that can be amplified. And I'll tell you why that's amplified.
[00:05:12]
Melissa: You're not good enough for a world that wasn't built for you. So through and with the support of someone like Ari, you get to build your own world in and among other great people just like you. See that's the gripe I have, Ari, right? The world is built on a very fixed system and I, I'm a big sort of a human design, uh, not analysis, but I'm really into human design. I use it with all my clients, right? And I'm discovering more and more that's why the Fearlessly Curious Podcast exists. It's like giving ourselves permission to discover who we are. And then unplug from that system to discover how we've been forced to plug into this system and then been consistently rejected by the system. Consistently. Right.
[00:05:54]
Ari: I’m trying to fight the urge, like to not interrupt you. Can you, you know,
[00:05:58]
Melissa: I'm, I'm gonna One, one last, one last thing. ADHD owned businesses. We have you. ADHD type brains have this capacity. They have a very open mind that allows them to dart from idea to idea and to another idea and which is very different to a very fixed mind, which is what the system is built on. So what do you offer, how do you offer support and coaching and consulting to ADHD owned businesses out there?
[00:06:26]
Ari: Yeah. Well, so, um, the thing I was trying to not interrupt you with was the fact that I, I really like, and I was like starting to play with my hands, like, don't do it. It's being recorded. Everyone will know, but everyone knows anyway, right? I talk about it all the time. I've got ADHD. It's a shock. But essentially a part of the reason that I was excited to talk to you is because I know how much those whys essentially align. And you know, it's like my, my tagline and my catchphrase is the world is not designed for the ADHD mind cause the ADHD mind is designed to change the world.
[00:06:52]
Ari: So I, I loved the alignment there and I felt like you were too, and I'm glad that I got to cover that because apparently it felt very urgent to me. Um, and now obviously again, in true ADHD fashion. I've forgotten what you asked me. So you tell me that question again, and I'm gonna give you the best answer.
[00:07:07]
Melissa: You know what, the only thing I asked you was I wanted to give you the space to share what was burning in you, because I love the way you navigated that. You're like, you know, right now I'm trying to, I'm trying to resist the urge to interrupt you rather. So, that’s all good. In fact, I’m gonna let you lead. What would you like to share with people out there? What's burning within you to share with people.
[00:07:22]
Ari: Right now in this present moment. You know what? It's actually funny. I was thinking of a day about the Lean Startup method. Have you read it? Do you know anything about it as a book or a concept or anything like that? Nothing at all. So great book by the way.
[00:07:34]
Ari: Anyone who is an entrepreneur absolutely recommends reading it. Um, but it's essentially about starting a business and. Um, it's skipping all of the majors like admin and organization and steps and so it's basically like the perfect way to, to launch a business in general, by the way. But especially if you have ADHD, and I was thinking about the fact that, you know, with ADHD being so prevalent in entrepreneurship, wondering how those systems, you know, that we were talking about that we perhaps don't fit into in traditional society. Perhaps the reason we fit so well into business systems and how businesses are run are because they have always predominantly been run by ADHD is so a lot of those systems are intrinsically, like created by them by the default. Yeah, and that just reminded me of that, I guess it's or, or just seems to kind of like a circle back to that central point.
[00:08:22]
Melissa: Mm-hmm. . And, and you know what really stood out for me, what you shared earlier was how the very thing that gives you the superpower, right? The ADHD brain type, the superpower, the ability to navigate. And I would say it's an agility of the mind. That's how I see it, at least having this agility of the mind. Now, I don't have an ADHD diagnosis. I've never gone to check. I definitely resonate. I have an ADHD type brain and many of my ADHD diagnosed friends always tell me like, yes, for sure, Melissa. But with, if we just remove the labels for now, just for these, these moments, anybody who has an incredibly creative mind and is finding their brain constantly being filled with different ideas, what would be the first tip you'd give for somebody like that.
[00:09:07]
Ari: So if anybody has an idea, especially anybody that is creative, because they tend to, you know, jump ahead like, this is the best idea ever. And you know, not to say it's not, or I'm so excited, I'm just gonna launch in and do this and blah, blah blah, is at the core of every idea that is going to become a business. You have to only answer one question. And that one question that you need to answer is, what problem are you solving? And I say it all the time to my own clients or my Instagram all over the place.
[00:09:37]
Ari: What problem does this idea solve? Especially now in the current climate, but always. So if you have this idea, No matter how good it is, if it doesn't solve a problem for ideally a group of people, then you don't have a business idea. You have an idea, and they're two very different things.
[00:09:55]
Melissa: Ooh, I love that. Very, very clear distinction. So on your mission to impact and to help ADHD owned businesses to build their businesses. Um, what problem are you solving, Ari?
Ari: The problem I solve is that while ADHD presents a lot of strengths to businesses, it also presents a lot of challenges. So my solution to that problem is redesigning the traditional systems of business to align with ADHD brains so that they can scale and grow business ideas much faster in a way that doesn't create that burnout and that overwhelm that ADHD or not. I think entrepreneurs all go through at one point or another.
[00:10:33]
Melissa: Okay. Thank you. Such clarity and I love it. I first met you, Ari, in Clubhouse. In the audio. Yes, you did. And I remember being so blown away by your clarity and being so inspired by you.
[00:10:45]
Melissa: Um, I'd love if you could share a little bit about your personal journey, cause you did a summary for us in the beginning, but I know there's gonna be many people who are listening who will really feel inspired and motivated because I think the, the resilience that you've shown in your life, if, from my perspective, being able to lean into these struggles in order to harvest the wisdom of your struggles to transform them is, is powerful stuff for listeners out there so that they know that if they're in struggle right now, that they're on that, that this is an incredible journey they're on. And transformation is literally around the corner. So if you could share a little bit more about your rejections, your, your painful moments, you know, you know, everybody would love to hear more.
[00:11:30]
Ari: Yeah, sure. So first of all, like thank you. That was an incredibly kind bunch of words in sentences together to say, so I appreciate that. And I think that we don't really realise our own adversity until somebody asks us about it on repeat. And even then, I think we've sort of been taught, um, especially from England, but you know, in general that somebody else always has it worse and therefore, like your struggle isn't that bad. And I think. I agree with you that sharing what you've been through is important because we need to learn to validate our own struggles in order to overcome them to achieve what we can be. And I think probably the most significant thing for me in terms of where I'm at now was being misdiagnosed as a child when I was taken for ADHD diagnosis.
[00:12:18]
Ari: And I think that again, the reason for that is twofold. And the first one is, what had happened was I, I am textbook, like I could not be any more ADHD if I tried. Right, and that has been evident. From all my school reports. I think the personal favourite, which is probably the most hurtful school report, has said something, and I'm paraphrasing so my memory's bad, but something along the lines of if I could bottle enthusiasm and filter out the impulsivity and bad attitude, I'd have a real star on my hands.
[00:12:50]
Ari: Unfortunately, I don't believe that's something I can do. I think I was about seven years old. I had another one that said, you know, it seems almost like Ari is to be sponsored by Duracell batteries. Uh, they're the bat, I don't know. Is that like across the world that they're like the best batteries? Oh, so I'm not like, not plugging Duracell there sounded like I was, but so anyway, the point is like, textbook, right?
[00:13:11]
Ari: And, and so I go for this diagnosis and at the time, It was, this was 20 years ago, and it was believed that ADHD was primarily for hyperactive, destructive voice. And, um, while I was there and I, and I was, you know, tested, what they essentially said was that because I was really intelligent, that I was too intelligent to have ADHD and that's, uh, that's misinformation.
[00:13:39]
Ari: So there's actually, there's not a correlation between ADHD and intelligence. They're just, it's just not the case. Um, and I think that, again, part of that inspires me to, to do what I do and, and help the ADHD community in the way that I know how and, and that I enjoy it because we still live in a situation with social media quite often as well where that that misinformation, although it's, it's good that so much information is being shared, a lot of it's wrong and it's concerning and across the board, like DPs are undertrained and on ADHD psychologists, even psychiatrists specialists, people who have like trained in ADHD, it's so outdated.
[00:14:17]
Ari: Even the, like the DSM five, which for anyone who doesn't know is the, like the Bible for, well, mental health and, and disorders in general. But where ADHD is, you know, the symptoms checklist is severely lacking. Really important things, and I think that, you know, once I was misdiagnosed, of course, then I'm young and I'm sent back to school and because I'm, you know, I don't have this thing that, that I could have got help for and managed instead.
[00:14:42]
Ari: The only other option is that I'm behaving this way as a choice and I'm choosing it and obviously, as I'm sure you can imagine, it just spiralled. Downhill from there. Because at the end of the day, if I'm just a problem child, that's what I was labelled as. Right? And I think that given the right management and the right tools and the right support, which is what I advocate for now at a young age as well, for, you know, kids in general, I think that I missed out on a lot of opportunities earlier in my life that would've been present.
[00:15:09]
Ari: Had that not been the case. That being said, I'm not that in my feelings about it because it kind of worked out very, very well in the long run and now I get to do this and I feel extra fucking annoyed about it, which drives me even more to like get it done and I've reached that mission. So I guess like a win is a win, right? Yeah. So. Yeah,
[00:15:27]
Melissa: totally. So yeah, we talk about that journey of adversity, right? Because you were gifted the ability to navigate that. And without a doubt, I imagine, I can only imagine the frustration, the struggle, the fury, you know, and a sense of rejection or maybe even abandonment. And I would, speaking for myself, imagine if I were going through that, these are some of the feelings I might have that you are now transforming to support other people.
[00:15:52]
Ari: Like I said, I'll always be transparent with you. Like, don't get me wrong, like I have trauma for days from, from other things and like of course had to like work through the resentment of that. But if I'm being totally honest, at the time at school, I enjoyed being your problem child. I love it. I did. I did.
[00:16:11]
Ari: I think you lived proud of it. Did you live up to the label? I did. I think, uh, yeah, I think I did. And, you know, and school was like, so under stimulating and being intelligent and undiagnosed, ADHD made school really under stimulating. And although I had some teachers who. Just got me and nailed it. And like, I behaved like an angel, like, like anyone who started a battle, bought out a war, and I was a, I was a teenager, I was rebellious.
[00:16:36]
Ari: I was like all of them, like every sort of rebellious that you could be. And, I enjoyed it. I, I won't lie, like at the time, like. Hindsight's a wonderful thing and, and now I feel like, you know, the res resentment cause I have that understanding and I guess the, the blessing of maturity in, in, in most ways, not all of them obviously, but I think at the time I, yeah, I can't, in all moral values sit here and be like, hi. It was so hard. Because it was hard. But also there were aspects of it that made for a good time for a teenager, I think.
[00:17:06]
Melissa: Well it sounds to me like you had a whole other level of resilience where you leveraged on that and you were kind of like, okay, you're gonna, you're giving me these labels. I guess I'll live up to them.Problem child , you thought that was a problem? Let me show you what the problem isn't. I, and I find that freaking intriguing, right? That the system, whether it's the school system, well actually it's the whole system, right? This idea of if I can't manage, or the institution can't manage, or the community or the family or the society, whatever, that, however big the size of that grouping is. If they can't manage one person, then the person is the problem. as opposed to looking at, okay, what is it that we're doing? Looking at it collectively, what are we doing that's bringing out this in the person? Well,
[00:17:49]
Ari: it's, yeah, so I totally agree with that. And also it, you know, I think part of the problem with the education system in general is it looks for conformity and, and not unique strength. So, um, in terms of, they say most entrepreneurs and, and most leaders sort of start that early on. When I was, I think maybe 12 years old, I led and orchestrated an entire school protest against, there was a school coat that was forced upon us. And if you wore it at school, if you wore it at the bus station, no, sorry.
[00:18:22]
Ari: If you've got a coat wearing your own coat at the bus station before you get to school, you get detention and it would also be really expensive. And I was furious. I was like, I was about 12 years old. And I was like, well, what about the families that can't afford this coat? And also, you know, honestly, who the fuck are you to tell me what I can wear outside of school?
[00:18:39]
Ari: Like already making me do my top button up? Which was a sensory nightmare, which I didn't realise at the time. But I was fed up and I organised this whole school protest, whereas I think a 12 year old I. 16, 17 year olds listened to me and, and gathered in group, and I got suspended. Now, I don't tell that story because I think that it makes me feel like an awesome leader.
[00:19:01]
Ari: I do believe I'm a good leader, but that's not what I tell the story. I tell the story because if you look at that story through a different lens, what you would. See there is a child that presented great leadership skills, the ability to gather people, like for a cause, like a real strength that can be utilised, that was punished for mm-hmm.
[00:19:19]
Ari: Now, if we took that mindset and we, and we twisted it instead, and, and that was, you know, recognized. Sure. Maybe still punished for how it was. Whatever, but also recognize that, which is what I wish their education system would do, and then encourage that in healthy ways. Again, it would've turned out differently in the long run. And I think that's the key. And I think the systems are flawed in general, but especially for people with Neurodiversities.
[00:19:43]
Melissa: I couldn't agree with you more, and that's why we need more people like you, Ari, leading us outta the system. and, and remind me. Not only just reminding us how important it is for us to show up as us. As ourselves, right? And to explore that. And you know, let's be honest, half the time we really don't know what we're doing because how can we know what we're really doing when we are discovering who we are in every freaking moment? Yeah, I've got a plan for the day, right? But I don't actually know how that plan's gonna pan out.
[00:20:13]
Melissa: I know it as it unravels. And one opinion I might hold about so, Could be flipped after a single conversation. I just think that because we're in a system that's constantly beating us down for having actually for being curious, asking, why do you think that? Why do I have to comply? Who set this rule like you did?
[00:20:32]
Melissa: Like why do I, who were you to tell me I have to wear this jacket? Right? Curiosity is being. Literally beaten out of us. Yeah. And so it is that, that's why I have this podcast. Fearlessly Curious, so we can be curious about the mission, for example, that you have and how important it is and also to let people know that, uh, how do they find you, Ari
[00:20:52]
Ari: Oh, so there's a few ways. So my Instagram is the_adhd_entrepreneur. I always joke that I'm annoyed that I had to put the underscores in, and now I, it's really long, like even the word. Underscore. That's three syllables. That's six extra syllables in my Instagram name. And it can't, yeah. Anyway, it's a whole thing. So the_adhd_entrepreneur is ridiculous. But it is that. Uh, or you can email me, uh, ari@adhdinbiz with a z.com, or go to my website, adhdinbiz.com. There's a million ways to contact me. LinkedIn research, LinkedIn slash theadhdentrepreneur. No one underscores in there, just to be clear.
[00:21:30]
Ari: So , that's the dream. But yeah, aside from that, please reach out too. I, um, I really do make an effort, especially on Instagram. Cause I, I'll be honest, I, I, like, I get a lot of messages on Instagram and I, I try really hard to answer all of them. Sometimes it takes me a little while, but I do eventually get to them. It's really important to me to try to do that. So please reach out, uh, if you wanna chat, connect, or especially if you have a business that you. Looking to grow or scale or manage your ADHD veteran, because I would love to help you. It'd be a pleasure.
[00:22:00]
Melissa: Oh, that's amazing. So listen, if you didn't catch all that, don't worry. It's gonna be in the transcript. It's gonna be in the notes of this podcast, video podcast as well. Just a couple more questions I have for you, Ari One, which is, you mentioned business owners, ADHD owned businesses who wanna scale, right? Mm-hmm. , or what about people who are just starting the business? What if they just have a business idea, but they've always felt like, you know, they're not good enough, or they dunno what to do if they've got a thousand? Can they also come to you?
[00:22:25]
Ari: It's actually so wild that you just asked me that question. Like, it's so serendipitous. So, uh, yes, they can. And very soon I'm launching a short course called How to Plan a Business When you have ADHD. Um, which I have told no one about. Like, I just want everyone to know that this is an organic conversation. Oh my God. I got, you're the only person who knows that. That's crazy.
[00:22:45]
Melissa: Can they email you? They're listening to this and they want to get on the quick list for that course. Can they email you? What's the name of the course again?
[00:22:52]
Ari: How to plan a business when you have ADHD. I think it might even change, but that's the concept. Like it's a, yeah.
[00:22:57]
Melissa: Okay. So who is the avatar? What problem are you solving? For whom?
[00:23:01]
Ari: For that one, that one's easy enough. It's anybody who has ADHD, who is being held back from starting or launching their business because they're overwhelmed with knowing where to start, what that looks like, the idea of a business plan, anything like that. So this is essentially gonna take you from that incredible idea that you. Right up to the point where you can launch the business. So it is, and it's gonna be obviously all ADHD friendly and super easy to follow. And uh, yeah, I'm really excited to get it out there. But it's coming soon cause right now I'm launching something else.
[00:23:33]
Melissa: Well classic I, I love that is classic, but more I love even more is how we didn't plan any of this. I'm like, I got, I know I got an ADHD type brain. I am speaking to the h ADHD entrepreneur. What is the point of making a plan of what we're talking about? We are so gonna do this on the fly only for you to share about something new that's coming in the year. So yeah, make sure you email Ari, get on that list. Be the first group that gets to go through it. Anything else you wanna share with us today? Aria what's, what's coming for, huh? Am I gonna ask that question? Maybe we can laugh about it. Where are you gonna be in the next three?
[00:24:08]
Ari: No, you can't ask that question. I actually love that question. So, first of all, so I, I have a whole bunch of plans. Of course, I very much am gonna continue to grow ADHD in biz as a business. I will also start training other people to do what I do. So I am. If anybody is interested in becoming an ADHD business coach who has business experience, again, reach out to me. I'll have a chat. We'll see what we can do there. I'm currently recording the first season of my podcast, the ADHD Millionaire, where I am interviewing people with ADHD who have made a million dollars upwards in revenue or profit. Depending on the business types, you'll. Don't get tricked by the cash flow and the valuation.
[00:24:50]
Ari: By the way, guys, it's a real scam on social media . So yeah, that and, and sort of stepping more into, just trying to think of various creative ways to honestly expand my audience and give the knowledge that I have on a wider basis. There'll be a lot more access to courses, group programs, getting more people to do what I do in the way that I do it so I can train them to do it so that I can honestly get myself a lot closer. This 100,000.
[00:25:16]
Melissa: I know you're gonna get there super fast, Ari cause I've seen the value that you, you serve, you serve with value, you don't give it, you literally serve. It's from the heart. You're so passion driven and if you please make sure everybody you follow, um, Ari on Instagram cause. The way that you deliver information is funny and that's important, right? Cause we all know life can really get super heavy and there's no better way to learn than through
[00:25:42] Ari: laughter. You don't laugh, you'll cry. That's the, that's
[00:25:46] Melissa: the rose. And not only do you get laughter and entertainment, but you get some solid educational value. Um, also a lot of stuff that's in the heart space. Very supportive. I'm curious, Ari, do you, do you have a free community, uh, platform at the moment that people can also step into? Because I know I'm hearing at least that a lot and lot of, a lot more people are actually wanting to come off social media because of how toxic it is and a lot of people are building more sort of private communities. Is that something you have on
[00:26:13]
Ari: Uh, so I actually do have a community, but I currently it is, so whether it's gonna be a free community or not, I'm on the fence about, I think there's a bit of a perceived value thing with a free community. But I am about to launch a newsletter, the ADHD Entrepreneur's Newsletter. So that will be email based. And that will give exclusive content only to that email list. And with the community thing, I'm, I'll be honest, I'm trying to, you know, manage my own impulsivity and rather than planet properly, I, um, I burnt myself out giving too much free value for too long. And, you know, it, it, and I would actually advise anybody, again, ADHD or not anybody who is going down the free community route, just, uh, I'm not saying don't do it.
[00:26:57]
Ari: I'm saying be aware, it requires a lot. And I would suggest that you, you get a bit of a team around you, you can kind of look to get volunteers as well, uh, people who support your mission and stuff. So no, no to the community currently, but the newsletter, absolutely. And that's something I'm really looking forward to as well. That's coming this year.
[00:27:15]
Melissa: Okay, great. Another good newsletter for me to read in my inbox cause I'm super, super selective. But that's what I'm definitely gonna be looking in for.
[00:27:22]
Ari: Well, so much reading causes a lot of it's video based cause I, uh, I know my audience so, even the welcome email is video based. It's like, Hey, click this link. That's the whole email basically. And it's just a video of me like, look, this is why you're here.
[00:27:36]
Melissa: I never asked what, um, what pronouns do you go by.
[00:27:38]
Ari: Oh, so I go by she and her, and actually I think I was so called that, that you're asking that I think that it's, um, yeah, it's, it's a massive thing and, uh, Uh, yeah, it's more people should ask. Not even just like, just in general. Actually, you know what, totally off brand. Like not even my thing, apart from just being gay and pretty gen, like not necessarily identifying gender fluid, but definitely looking gender fluid. Like if you don't know, like just ask, but don't be a dick about it. Like I've literally like my whole life with people being a dick about it and like asking in the rudest most inappropriate ways.So I know that's totally off topic, but No, it's not off topic. It's not,
[00:28:19]
Melissa: Can you give us an example of a rude way to ask? Because I think the thing is people, we know what we know. We also don't know what we don't know. So talking about this now as we wrap up, I think is, is pretty important. Ari, what's a rude way of asking?
[00:28:30]
Ari: Yeah, sure. Well, I think it's rude in general. So like when I say that things that spring to mind are, especially when I was younger, I would say like if I was to use female bathrooms, which I do, obviously people, you know, loudly exclaim, like if, if they. You know, they think that I'm, um, a boy or whatever they think loudly, like being like, oh, well I thought this was the women's bathroom.
[00:28:52]
Ari: And I just, my response to that always is like, what outcome are you looking for? Like, oh yeah, so let's say in that situation I was a boy and I was like, oh, thanks. I've just realized that now I'm surrounded by all the women in the women's bar, blah. Thanks for pointing it out. So that's number one Option, number two, option.
[00:29:09]
Ari: Like that's, you know, a dig at, you know, the fact that I, I'm female and it's just, , if you are gonna be aggressive, grow up. Don't be passive aggressive. Exactly. That's off, I was thinking not to own it. Yeah. Like at least like to use it. It's an English term, which is ironic given the conversation, but gross and BOLs and like approach it.
[00:29:28]
Ari: But rude is just exactly how you asked it is actually perfect. You know what pronouns do you go by? It's a really comfortable way to. To make people feel seen. And, and, and that's a really beautiful thing. And honestly, it's like it's no skin off anyone else's teeth. It's so easy to do and like, don't, you know?
[00:29:45]
Ari: And if somebody tells you that they're, you know, going through any sort of anything with their gender at all, don't. Like, if you're gonna ask questions, at least ask if it's okay to ask questions. And honestly, just basic human decency. Yeah. I dunno why people struggle with it so much. I, it, it almost makes me laugh.
[00:30:01]
Ari: I'm just like, God. Like, and that's what I mean, like, I'm really worried about humanity. So if you do have ADHD like please launch your business. It's stressing me out. We've got a little things to sort out with .
[00:30:10]
Melissa: Yeah, yeah. And we, and we need to do this together. And that's why you building the community the way that you are building it, uh, and, and even through this podcast, you know, being able, me being able to reach out to, to more people who are doing things off grid in the sense that we are unplugging from, from the system is super important.
[00:30:30]
Melissa: Super, super important, right? Because we often go through this life. We're all alone and I dunno how to get out of this hole and nobody understands me. Right. Uh, and I dunno what the next move to make is. And so community is one of the most important things. Looking forward to this year onwards, at least I know. That's why I'm building community. What do you wanna leave people with today?
[00:30:51]
Ari: No, I think, I mean I do think I finished on quite a passionate, non-related but semi-related note there, but I don't really wanna take away from that. But I think especially if you're listening to this and, and you have ADHD and business or not, it doesn't like it.
[00:31:06]
Ari: It doesn't really matter. I know that when you get diagnosed, or even if you are yet to be diagnosed, cause you're waiting two years on these bullshit wait lists and, and all of that. I think that the best advice I can give you is. Prepare yourself for grief that is going to come with that in a diagnosis.
[00:31:23]
Ari: There's a lot of excitement there and it'll be really good and in the long run, you know it's gonna work out great for you, but there is always a time to be it, you know? And for some people it's like a week. I think mom's about a week because it's just who I am. But like, For a lot of people, it's a lot longer and, you know, you stop being angry at family members or, or people that didn't recognize it and, and so on.
[00:31:41]
Ari: And it brings up a lot of resentment. So prepare yourself for that part of that journey because nobody really warns you about it. And it can, um, yeah, it can knock your socks off. I've seen it knock people's socks off. So, you know, journal or like, I don't, I don't really journal cause I have dysgraphia too.
[00:31:56]
Ari: So I, I type all of my thoughts and feelings, like get it out, process it, do the work around that. Get a psychologist. Uh, I think. Not even business wise, just in general, that will be the most important healing metric for you in whatever endeavor that you undertake after that. Thank you.
[00:32:13]
Melissa: Thank you, Ari. It's been a pleasure having you here today. And, uh, as we close out, just wanna invite everybody to follow Ari, get in on that mailing list, get curious, lean into your curiosity to learn more about her mission and how you can be a part of that community. And I'm even gonna reach out to those of you listening who do not have an ADHD diagnosis and do not have an ADHD type brain.
[00:32:37]
Melissa: The idea is to build a world that is in its totality, diverse. You are already a diverse world, but we are so compartmentalised and so you can do your part. If you don't have an ADHD brain, educate yourself on how to be a part of the community and support those of us who do have an ADHD type brain.
[00:32:57]
Melissa: Remember that kindness that I already talked about, right? We're all walking a path and navigating some level of suffering and grief as we're rediscovering and rediscovering new parts of ourselves. We have to let go of all the identities, and that is shocking. At every level, right? Every level, whether it's our brain type, whether it's our sexuality, whether it's our gender, whether it's just simply growing up, whether it's getting into our thirties or our forties, whatever it may be. Live with kindness, man, kindness and curiosity. Don't forget to tune in for the next episode of Fearlessly Curious Podcast. It's, uh, bye from me and Ari for now.
[00:33:31]
Ari: Bye. Thank you for having me.
[00:33:38]
Melissa: If you want more, make sure to subscribe so you never miss a new episode every Friday. And please leave a review if you enjoy this episode. Don't forget to send me your curious questions and experiences as inspiration for future episodes. Your anonymity will be respected. If that's what you prefer. For more guidance and support, join my emotional healing, mindfulness and music community over at melissaindot.com. See you next week.
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