EP.35 - How To Find Your True Self: Li Lian Gan’s Inspiring Journey

Show Notes

Change is constant, yet it's often seen as something to fear.

But what if you embraced it instead? What if you saw it as a door to infinite possibilities, a chance to evolve, grow, and align with your truest self?

Li Lian Gan is a living testament to this powerful shift in perspective. She has challenged norms, shifted careers, and dared to step into her authentic path. Her journey is a clear demonstration that it's never too late to redefine your life trajectory and pursue your dreams.

Your path may diverge from what's conventional, and that's perfectly okay. It's your personal narrative, your story unfolding in a series of choices and transformative moments.

Join me and Li Lian as we delve into how embracing change can unlock boundless possibilities, stimulate your personal growth, and set you on the journey to becoming who you're truly meant to be.

Here are the key takeaways from this episode:

04:28 - With every decision you make, you take risks.

08:01 - We shouldn’t live in silos; we should interact with people from all walks of life.

11:02: The concept of having a “deep knowing.”

13:32 - When we open our minds to possibilities, then everything aligned with who we are comes to us.

16:00 - The moment Li Lian made the decision to switch from corporate to freelance.

18:09 - When we know better, we have the responsibility to be better.

20:57 - Learning something new keeps our minds active and alert.

Check out Melissa’s Spotify Playlists here.

About Our Guest

Li Lian Gan is a woman of many talents and roles – a mother of two boys, a medical doctor, an aspiring musician, and now a freelance content creator. Unconventionally, Li Lian chose to step away from mainstream clinical medicine, disrupting the typical trajectory of her career and breaking societal norms.

Her decision was fuelled by her pursuit of authenticity and a deep desire to follow her passion. She began embracing calculated risks, from transitioning out of corporate life to participating in a music production workshop. As a freelance content creator, she aids businesses in promoting their services through writing engaging content, from medical and scientific to technical pieces.

*DISCLAIMER - This episode was recorded in March 2023, and the views and opinions expressed are those of the speaker and do not reflect those of the organisation with which they are currently affiliated.

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About Me:

I help you lead with fearless authenticity by smashing the self-imposed heteronormative stereotypes that keep you playing small through emotional healing inner child and inherited intergenerational trauma. Create a purposeful life of your unique design by disrupting societal norms and expectations of who you should be. Explore mindfulness, fearless curiosity and loving kindness through the lens of Human Design to thrive as the person you are born to be.

Learn more about my coaching method and join my emotional healing, mindfulness, and music community at melissaindot.com.

TRANSCRIPT

[00:00:00] Li Lian: It took me years to figure out the pain of doing what is right based on the social norms, and I did a lot of things and practise a lot of stuff, which I wasn't really true to myself and I didn't enjoy life as much for now after putting down the expectations of how other people look at me and how others perceive me. When I put that aside, I get so much freedom and I feel happy.

[00:00:33] Melissa: Hey there. Welcome to the Fearlessly Curious Podcast, your safe space. Listen, lean in and learn the diversity of human experiences through the lens of fearless curiosity. When we learn more about each other, we also learn more about ourselves. How? Because when we listen to each other's curiosities and experiences, we relate to that which is in common, and that which sets us apart, gives us something to reflect on. We learn through and with each other. I'm grateful to you, the global community, for your curious questions. The Fearlessly Curious Podcast cannot exist without you.

[00:01:20] Melissa: So welcome to another episode of the Fearlessly Curious Podcast, and today I'm very excited and proud to have a friend who started off as a client and is also now. Pretty much part of the team, Li Lian Gan. Actually, it should be Dr. Li Lian Gan. Is that right, Li Lian?

[00:01:41] Li Lian: Yes. But you can still call me Li Lian. 

[00:01:43] Melissa: Okay. Li Lian, it's such a pleasure to have you here today. And you know I'm excited to have you here because you are so passionate about music and you are also passionate about life and support and community and helping people, and to have you share your time with us. And actually do a little bit of play today as we introduce a different sort of vibe for the podcast series is very, very exciting.

[00:02:06] Melissa: So I'm gonna dive straight in. I'm gonna ask what I ask all my guests rather than ask, oh, what do you do? I ask, what's your why?

[00:02:15] Li Lian: What's my why? So my why. I think that's always a comment here. I always ask, what is life? And if you just look around us, we only get too big. So you really want to live purposefully and want to live the best life. I mean, that's the best version you can ever have, right? So I think for now, the priority for me is just being me and doing what I really love. It took me years to figure out the pain of doing what is right based on the social norms. And I did a lot of things and practised a lot of stuff, which I wasn't really true to myself, and I didn't enjoy life as much. For now, after putting down the expectations of how other people look at me and how others perceive me, when I put that aside, I get so much freedom. And I feel happy too. 

[00:03:08] Melissa:Oh my God. That. That just feels so good to be happy being you, right? I mean, I totally feel you. There's so much societal and familial as in family expectations and I think maybe a little bit more, maybe being, uh, Southeast Asian as well, because our family ethic and our culture is different. And there is a big, big heavy, and I'm gonna use the word intentionally burden. Associated within family a lot of love, but also a lot of burden that in terms of intergenerationally needs to be rewritten. And I believe it is being rewritten with every new generation that comes through.

[00:03:52] Melissa: So that freedom that you've reclaimed for yourself, I feel that a hundred percent. I think I went through a very similar journey and at different stages of my life. I see those layers come up even for me to continue to heal. So I'm curious to know, right? What were some of the things that you have done in your life, which I'm sure have been very enriching, right? Because I don't believe in regret. I believe we only regret what we don't do. What are some of the things that you've done in your life that you did because you felt you were meeting an expectation rather than a desire fulfilling a dream?

[00:04:28] Li Lian: Life is, you know, you get to make a lot of decisions. You get to make a lot of choices, and sometimes you take risks. With every decision you make, you take risks. And for me, I think I took many calculated risks in this life, and the biggest one was my career. For those who know me professionally, they would think that I'm really crazy. But leaving the mainstream clinical medicine, it's like they would think that it's too big a jam or it's too risky to just leave something you are familiar with and just to leave something which you spend almost a decade crafting and perfecting the knowledge in just leaving the practice and doing starting out is not a common thing you will see among my peers. And of my peers, they would go the pathway, or from and you become a medical officer, you'd become a specialist, and I could become a consultant. You do that, you choose to become a cardiologist, only  become a neurosurgeon, things like that. People expect most young doctors to go down that route. But I figured out years ago that that is not what I wanted. So I took it. Cooperate based to go to a different pathway, and I went to do clinical research. It's a niche outside of the ministry clinical medicine where you see patients in mix.

[00:05:56] Li Lian: You see patients in hospital, you perform surgeries, patients, things like that. I don't do that. I spend most of my time communicating. Meeting different people. So just let me break it out to you what clinical research is. Well, for the part of clinical research that I was involved in basically involves, you know, before a drug goes to the market, yeah, you need to make sure that that particular drug is safe.

[00:06:23] Li Lian: At the same time it's effective. So it's a very laborious process and it requires a lot of testing. And a lot of monitoring and stuff. So being a part of that gives me an insight of advancing healthcare that's probably not visible to some of my colleagues who were on the mainstream. And I enjoy it tremendously because it is something which allows me to learn new stuff every day.

[00:06:55] Li Lian: I get to see new things. I get to learn new things. I get to read new people. I get to learn the latest technologies, and it has opened the door to a different world to me. Yes, there was one door which I opened, so I left mainstream clinical medicine and for now I'm doing another jump which is getting time out of the corporate life and picking up new skill sets. So one of the skill sets that I've been working hard to perfect over the past two or three years was writing, because I was a researcher as well. Right. So a lot of my brain and butter involve writing and thinking and putting thought, distilling ideas, this theory information into writing and communicating that. So I really enjoy breaking down something complicated to simple bite size pieces. So that it's understandable to the public. I really enjoyed it because I had the privilege of accessing all this knowledge, so it'll be a waste if I don't share it with those who are interested.

[00:08:01] Li Lian: So for now, I'm trying my best to improve my writing skills by writing contents. And I don't restrict myself to just writing medical and science related content because the world is so big. We don't live in silos. We need to interact with people of all walks of life. So I actually deal with customers from different industries at the same time, I get to learn stuff tech industries as well. 

[00:08:30] Melissa: That's awesome. Yeah. So I'm always learning. And I love that attitude that you bring to your work to life, which is actually fearlessly curious. You're just open to learning new stuff. So I mean, with sharing, sharing maybe with the listeners, what industries are you currently working with until with your freelance content writing or copywriting I should say?

[00:08:53] Li Lian: So at the moment, in my free time, I practise writing some health related contents. So we can reach for just common non-communicable diseases like diabetes, high blood pressure, maybe working with elderly adults with dementia, people with Alzheimer’s. Okay. And occasionally I will write about conditions like labour, things like that. So that's medically related. Whereas for non-medical related ones, it would be very technical stuff like the construction industry. Like what ingredients or what kind of building materials are best or this kind of building stuff. And I also have a friend who's asking me to write about music.

[00:09:38] Melissa: Ah. Okay. More about that little later maybe. 

[00:09:45] Li Lian: Yes, yes. It's nice because I love music as well. I am passionate about music and something that I kind of abandoned years ago. So personal medicine, and now when I go back to being myself, things that I like and things that I love, they just find their way back to me. I don't know how to describe it, but maybe it's what others call the manifestation or the universe is answering your call. Like, I'm still a bit sceptical about this idea, but I kind of feel it like you being yourself, you really enjoy something, you want to do something you are passionate about it. All these things will come to you naturally without you asking for it. Mm-hmm. They just come to you like you are a magnet and they just come to you.

[00:10:27] Melissa: Well, I'm happy to hear these things are coming to you, and I think maybe now we can begin a little bit of the debate part. Intermingling it with the introduction and the debate, you said that you're a bit sceptical about that. You know how people say, you know, you manifest it or the universe brings it to you. So I just, just like to take the opportunity to expand on that a little bit, what I have come to learn from my studies, various different studies, spiritual studies, quantum physics, had idea going into science now because I have a true, a real bonafide authority in science right in front of me.

[00:11:02] Melissa: So I can't BS anything but also my own personal experience is that I think it comes down to this, when we're born, we are born with knowledge. Okay. Information intelligence that's within our bodies already. So it's before the mind is even formed. Right. It's a knowing, I call it a deep knowing, and I dunno how science explains this, and maybe, maybe science can't explain it because there are still so many natural phenomena that science cannot explain, but at the same time, science cannot deny it existence, right? So that's what I find particularly interesting about humanity is that we've come to a point where it's like doubting Thomas from the Bible. It's like we doubt what is right in front of us because we do not yet have a theory to explain it, but it's happening. Right. And that's where I feel humans fall short with science, right?

[00:11:58] Melissa: It's science is meant to support. I don't believe science is meant to be a barrier. Okay. So back to this sort of manifestation thing or, or yeah universe bringing to you. So I believe we're born and we have everything we need within us already. Okay. We're fully connected to life because we're life itself and we're in this discovery mode like babies that, you know, discovering our senses, our sight, our hearing, all our senses are developing, right?

[00:12:25] Melissa: And as children, we are meant to run around this earth, connecting with life, discovering life, the earth, the plants, the. Living beings and our parents. We need basic things from our parents. The core, basic needs, right? Shelter, safety, nourishment. But what tends to happen is we have all this conditioning burdened on ourselves.

[00:12:47] Melissa: So we're told how to behave, how to talk, how to sit, how to walk, how to dress, how to think, and how to be all our skills, all our natural gifts are interpreted for us and then we are then told what we have to be. I'll give you a very basic example for me that I can use. My experience. I was really good at maths and so it was, okay, good at maths, be an accountant, be in finance, be in banking. Plus possibly be an engineer cuz you're quite good at putting things together. Right, but, and so I'm actually very creative, as you know, and I believe everybody is creative, but we compartmentalise things. We say, oh, we, you are creative, you are scientific, or you are mathematical. But what if we didn't pigeonhole those things?

[00:13:32] Melissa: What if we kept the spectrum of things open because then we keep the field of possibilities open. So I'm trying to tie this back to what you said. When we are open, when we don't close our minds to possibilities, then that which is aligned with who we are comes to us. But once we close ourselves off to certain opportunities, then it's not that those opportunities are not there, they're always there. It's just that we don't see them. I believe through, and this is from some spiritual studies that I've been immersed in at any given point in time, there are an infinite number of possibilities. Right. I dunno whether you agree with me with that, Li Lian?

[00:13:49] Li Lian: Yep. Permutations.

[00:14:17] Melissa: Permutations. Exactly. There's the maths, right? So I'm sitting here right now with you and I could say any number of things that we're being in flow, and at any point in time you could respond with any number of things, but we choose in that moment, we make, sometimes it's conscious, sometimes it's unconscious.

[00:14:32] Melissa: And I believe when we can play with both, that's where the power is, because when we're consciously aware, there is some level of control, and with that level of control, there's some limitation. But when we doing it unconsciously, and I, to frame this, when I say unconscious, I mean we're going by feel and flow like folks who are listening and watching the video podcast, even this recording is half prepped, half in flow, right? Just before we came on, we were like, okay, this is gonna be a chat session and just, and then I said, oh no, I have to introduce you first, Li Lian, because okay, you know, it would be rude of me not to.

[00:15:06] Melissa: And then now we're in flow. So in summary, Yes. I believe that when we remove our conditioning, when we remove the limited way that we think and the limited way that we live our lives, the way that we restrict ourselves, oh, I must behave like this because this is what people expect of me, right? Or I must not be this because I'm afraid of what people might think. When we remove all those barriers and we just simply are. We be, we do lessen, we be more, then we allow for our vision and our presence to draw in what is exactly aligned for us in that moment. Then we employ the mind. To figure out what action steps are appropriate for the choice we've already made in that moment. What your thoughts, what your thoughts.

[00:16:00] Li Lian: Yeah. I kind of agree more. Let me just give you a few examples from the moment I made this decision with the corporate world and come up freelance. For now. At first, those around me, they were like, are you sure you're gonna do this? It's, it's a big jump.

[00:16:14] Li Lian: It's a bit risky and stuff. I was a bit afraid, but somehow I didn't go asking for help or asking for support. But somehow from my network, I get support and help in various ways. Like I didn't ask for it. They just come because I'll, I just keep my mind open and I just be me. I just do what I can. I just do what I want to do and until the right help will come at the right hand.

[00:16:39] Li Lian: And yes, then it was true. Yeah. And talking about, like earlier on you said that you were good in maths and uh, you know, people ask you to do those mathematic related job. Same. Same for me. Like I was scoring well in school. At that time for my community, it was like, okay, you are a strict a student that's only one route. Maths. You want to do something else? No, no, no. Don't waste your time.

[00:17:06] Melissa: Don't. And don't waste your skills. Right.

[00:17:11] Li Lian: Then say, say, don't waste your talent just go for it. You, you can go for the best. Just go for it. It was so crazy. Now, if you say that to a young person who's scoring well, like everyone has a dream should just let them pursue what they are. So I’m telling myself to stop this generational kind of like a spawn of responsibility that we bring down from generations. Like just because this generation, I'm not able to obtain this vocation, I will wish that my next generation would get this vocation. So I'm not putting it this on my children. I will just tell them, just do what you love and just go for it. Whatever you do, I’ll support you.

[00:17:54] Melissa: Oh, how wonderful. And you know, for reference, we're at any every given moment in time, doing the best that we can. Consciously and unconsciously, we are doing the best that we can with what we know and what we don't know.

[00:18:09] Melissa: So, uh, I just wanna add to that li you know, when Li Lian says, talks about intergenerational, uh, patterning, I'll call it healing, right? So that we don't bring forward the same practices of our parents or our grandparents. It's not because we are criticising them. for how they've been. Because they were just doing the best that they knew. The thing is, once we know better, I do believe it is our responsibility, and when I say responsibility, I mean we have better ability to respond. It's our responsibility to be better when we know better, we must be better. And now that we know better. Just as you are saying, you want to create this different space for your children and how beautiful that is.

[00:18:53] Melissa: And we have our parents to thank for that, right? Because our parents put us through this experience. We have had the privilege, and when I say privilege, it's the privilege of life. To experience and then to shift that, to come to a different level of awareness so that we can shift that pattern going forward.

[00:19:12] Melissa: So kudos to you. Kudos to you, Li Lian. I don't have kids, but I know that what I get to do is I get to help, support other adults reparent themselves. I think we can all do with being a little bit more childlike, right? Yes. I believe that we're all really just big kids. Yes. We are still children just trying to figure out this life.

[00:19:35] Melissa: Yeah. So tell us. So you started off in the medical field as a medical clinical doctor and then you went to research, right? And then you've been upskilling and now you are refining your copywriting and you are now a content creator. And, I know that you write for web pages and well blogs. And is content creating something you want to do on the social media platforms as well?

[00:20:02] Li Lian: Uh, yes  it is, and I'm still learning. Okay. It's competitive. I won't deny that. And for us to compete with those who are much younger than me and, probably have more exposure, it will be something challenging. But I believe that it's also a skill for us to be adaptable in any given situation. Whatever trends you have now that it may be different three or four years later, you never know. So it's never too late to learn anything. It's just whether you want to take the move and just fight the bullet and do it, you can see that, oh, I'm too old already. I don't want to learn. I can never learn. I can never be as good as you. So then you will stay at that level. But if you tell yourself It's never too late, I can do now and I can progress from there. And then the possibilities we have that mindset. 

[00:20:57] Melissa: Yeah, and I think that's what keeps us young. Right is that we keep our brains online and our two levels, one is the brain like we're learning. So that neuroplasticity, maybe you could share a little bit. I'm gonna come back to you and ask you if you could just expand on what neuroplasticity is. But from my level of understanding, the more that I employ my brain doing different new things, learning new things, the more I'm stretching my brain as a muscle. Right? So that's keeping me my mind active. Yes. And if we say that, Uh, youth or ageing or the ageing process. Not to say slowed down, but we can stay young by staying alert. Yes. And cognitively alert. Right. But there's also the will, there's also this sense of satisfaction. Sense of achievement and in a way the dopamine that comes from the feeling good from having learned something I think is important. And I look at my mom, she's 85, right? She uses WhatsApp, she's on Instagram. She forwards Instagram links on WhatsApp. And maybe for you and I, and definitely for our kids that they're like, that's like normal. That's every day. But for someone who's 85, she was born in 1938, right?

[00:22:08] Melissa: She was born before the second World War. This is like extraordinary. It is extraordinary and I think the more aware we can be of technology, the progress and where our part to play is, the more we can also appreciate each other and how advanced. We are and how much skill is required to learn new things. So neuroplasticity, can you tell us about that?

[00:22:33] Li Lian: So, neuroplasticity.  Okay. Well, so this is like, uh, realtime crease for my medical knowledge. Neuroplasticity is, I will break it down to two words, with neuro and plasticity. So your neuro stands in nerve. Okay, so plasticity is something that you can mow or you can develop over. So neuroplasticity means you do something repeatedly again and again and again, and it kind of like strengthens the neuro pathways. So, you know, there's a lot of nerve neuro pathways, in our central nervous systems. If you do one thing once, you only fire the, the nerve that goes through that route. It only fires once.

[00:23:16] Li Lian: But imagine if you fire it like 100 times. Enough grows. So that is like what I call a neuroplasticity, or I'll just give you an analogy. Okay? So let's say you see a secondary jungle. Okay? So if you wanna pass through the secondary jungle once, then you have a small path path through it, right? But imagine you go through that path every day for like 20 routes per day. And so now or later it will become an established route. And if you have cars or motorcycles going through it, then you will have a road soon. And yeah, if you have a higher volume, then who knows later you, you can have a highway. So that's, basically the essence of, neuroplasticity. I'm not a neuro expert, but this is as best as I can understand it and, as best as I can to share it with the public.

[00:24:14] Melissa: That's awesome. So we have a thought process and that fires up neural pathway and nerve path pathway. Like when we're building a muscle, like when we're going to the gym, like when we're learning a new activity, like picking up a racket and hitting the ball, you know, we do it once. We struggle with it.

[00:24:32] Melissa: We're learning a technique. We have to be repetitive. We have to keep doing it over and over and over again. Yes. And the more we do it, we're firing up the same. Yes. Neural pathway until it becomes integrated. I would say yes. That's the kind of word I would use. Like we've learned it. It was at first a new pathway. And then it becomes learned. So as we're getting older, maybe there's some level of degeneration happening on the cellular level. Is that right?

[00:25:00] Li Lian: I mean, like, yeah. When you age, like things start to disintegrate, things get broken down. You have, a DNA level. You have DNA arrows, operations and stuff.

[00:25:11] Melissa: Yeah. But if we can keep, you know, firing new neural pathways and it helps to, does it help to regenerate? 

[00:25:19] Li Lian: It depends on which pathway you are working on.

[00:25:22] Melissa: Ah, okay. Now we're getting technical. I better back away. But it's, it's good to keep, it's like an activity. We're keeping your brain working.

[00:25:31] Li Lian: Yes. Basically it's like our muscle as well. Use it or you lose it. The same thing goes for your nose as well, like, If you memorise something or if you play chess every day, or you just keep your mind active, then it will go on and on because it kind of knows that, okay, I need to keep this function. This is, I can't just lose this function. Yeah. Yeah. 

[00:25:51] Melissa: Okay, thank you Li Lian. So I wanna wrap it up for this, for this episode today. Cause you know, I like to pack things into a fairly brief session so that our listeners can have time to take it all in and maybe hit that repeat button and listen to it again. They may wanna rewind or bookmark it in sections.

[00:26:10] Melissa: The section about how Li Lian broke free from, you know, years of commitment to one path of living, and that it's never too late to change your path. It's never too late to start to build your relationship with who you're born to be and do and pursue your dreams. It's never too late. It's always a new beginning.

[00:26:32] Melissa: And then how we went into neuroplasticity, and then how we also touched upon manifestation and how we open ourselves up to the limitless possibilities that are out there that allow us to align with who we are and what we're meant to do. I just wanna wrap that up, but also let listeners know that they must not forget to subscribe because we're actually gonna be deep diving into some what did you call, you used the word mischievous, I think. 

[00:26:57] Li Lian: Yes. I was going to be a bit naughty, but I guess I got the, I wanted to ask you, I wanted to interrogate you. How are you sure that your playlist works? Things like that. Maybe I'll try next time. 

[00:27:12] Melissa: How am I sure? Why don't we leave everybody with one of those questions?

[00:27:16] Li Lian: Yeah.

[00:27:18] Melissa: Yeah.So like, um, what question do you have? 

[00:27:20] Li Lian: How do you curate your playlists? I'm really curious.

[00:27:23] Melissa: about it. How do I curate my playlist?

[00:27:27] Li Lian: So let's say you are feeling a bit stressed, so you want to curate playlists, which helps relieve your stress. But we know that different people, they enjoy different kind of music. So how, how would you know that, I mean, your playlists will appeal to everyone. How do you decide what forms to put inside? 

[00:27:45] Melissa: That, that's a great question. So for context, cuz not everybody may know that part of what I do as a coach is I use music as one of the foundational tools to support my clients and anybody actually within the community to move through any emotions that they're struggling with.

[00:28:03] Melissa: So in this. Instance, Li Lian, you're asking me, I don't know if stress is an emotion, but it's definitely a state. Okay, so how I curate playlists to support people. So the short answer is I am, I cannot guarantee that my playlist is going to work for everybody, especially when I'm doing a general playlist.

[00:28:21] Melissa: So I have a couple of general playlists that I have on my Spotify, on my YouTube, right? What playlist for daydreaming? A playlist to vibe to, you know, and previously I've, I've also had published a playlist for your inner child, you know, a playlist to support holiday anxiety as you build up to Christmas or holiday events.

[00:28:41] Melissa: So the, I can't guarantee, first of all, it's gonna work for everybody, but that's also why it's a playlist, right? Because the first song may not work, but the second might, okay? And the thing is, once one song works, this is what I found through my experience. Once one song works and that person taps into it, Then the next song isn't not going to work.

[00:29:00] Melissa: I'll say that again. Once the first song works, that person is already tuned in to allowing their nervous system to receive. So it's like once the door's open, the, the door's not gonna shut anymore because there is a level of comfort that that person is already feeling. So once we're feeling more comfortable and more safe, why would we wanna go back into a place of discomfort?

[00:29:23] Melissa: Okay, so that's the first part. The second part is, my belief, and it is a belief is that the majority of the time when people go, I don't like that song, it's not working for me. It's the mind talking. Because, and this is the part maybe that science can't explain and I'm always going to go to the science cuz you know, I have you here a science expert.

[00:29:42] Melissa: I'd love to leverage on that. Um, this is the part I feel science can't explain, which is I have an infinite faith. Because I'm guided. When I'm choosing songs, when I choose, when I play this, I'm not thinking, oh, what song shall I pick? I'm literally not thinking I hold an intention P. So someone could call that.

[00:30:02] Melissa: So for some people it's like, what does that mean? Well, I really tune into what is needed right there in a moment. Not needed by that person, but what is needed? Period. Right? So if I'm experiencing, I'm listening to a client, or I'm tapping into severe levels of fear, like during the pandemic, right? I built a playlist during the pandemic, I was tapping into that. There was just worldwide fear on a global scale, and it was so palpable, right? Because there was such uncertainty and everybody. Was feeling the same thing, this level of uncertainty. And I just tuned into that almost like a prayer, and I literally open up my Spotify and sometimes I go into my Apple library and I will literally just scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, no thinking, and then stop.

[00:30:53] Melissa: My finger will stop where it needs to, and then I listen to that song and I'll then tune into the song. And if within the first three bars, my heart doesn't either beat fast or I feel an openness in my body, I go to the next one. So I'm literally not thinking I'm fully in my body and being guided. So there is a hell, a load of faith and faith being in guidance, but faith in my body that my body will tell me what is aligned, not what is right. What is aligned. Because what is right and wrong is very much based on the mind and our experiences. Right? But what is aligned? There's no judgement around that. I don't believe there is any, so I hope that answers your question.

[00:31:42] Li Lian: Yes, it does. So do you have a favourite playlist that you listen to for yourself?

[00:31:47] Melissa: Just a general, oh God, just. I have so many. I think if I look at my number of playlists, let's just do it for fun. I'm literally gonna open up my, where I build my playlist on Spotify and I'll put create playlists and it says create my playlist number 341. Wow. So not all of those are necessary up but accessible to the public. And not all of us are, are live anymore. So in short mm-hmm. But right now I'm consistently building two playlists. It's called Songs for Daydreaming and Songs to Vibe to. And you can find it on my Spotify. It's open to the public come and I'm building it. So I think it's about 30 songs in each right now.

[00:32:27] Melissa: Oh, that. Um, yeah, so have a, have a listen to that. And there's one that I was building last year that I've put a pause on, and it's called Music for Mindfulness. Let me just get a title. Music for Mindfulness and Emotional Healing, and that is an experience, so it's called Music for Mindfulness and Emotional Healing, because whatever emotional state you are in. The idea is that you can listen to that playlist and it will take you through your emotions. A lot of the time, our discomfort and struggle comes because we feel something emotionally and it's too much. Oh, I can't feel that, or it's not the right time. I'm at work. I can't feel this right.

[00:33:06] Melissa: Or I'm with my kids, I can't feel this, or I'm in public. I can't feel this, or I'm alone. I can't feel this. Well, the mind will always find a reason because. If we haven't had the appropriate level of education on our emotions, then they can be overwhelming, they can be scary. Music, I feel, is one of the most powerful tools for supporting us in riding the wave of our emotions because we get out of our head and our head.

[00:33:32] Melissa: Our mind is the thing telling us it's too much. You are too much. There's too many people. There's not enough people, and we can just sit in the frequency and the tones of the music and. Be with what is. I just went on and on. I can talk about this for Asia. So in summary, right now, my two favourite playlists, go listen to songs for daydreaming and songs to vibe to both on Spotify.

[00:33:55] Melissa: Will you share that in the podcast link?

[00:33:58] Melissa: Yes, it will be shared in the podcast link. And in fact, those who are listening to the Fearlessly Curious Podcast on Spotify, if you just  literally just even hit on my profile, you'll see all my public playlists there. But the fun thing is that when we get to journey together, either in community or in groups, or one-on-one, I get to curate your personal playlist, but more importantly, you then learn how to create your own and more about that, I think in the next episode. So I'm gonna put a boundary now and say no more questions. Ian. Thank you. Thank you Li Lian. Let's save it for the next session. Yes. If, will you come back for another session?. 

[00:34:36] Li Lian: Yes. I think I fumbled quite a bit. Yes. 

[00:34:39] Melissa: No, you didn't. You didn't.

[00:34:41] Melissa: There's no fumbling. There's no right or wrong. There's, you know, this is like inflow. Okay. That's the best part about this. Thank you for allowing us, the listeners, to be curious about you and your life and sharing a little bit of your journey. I will be asking more questions about your journey in the next session.

[00:34:59] Melissa: So, I'm gonna invite our listeners as well to write in and ask questions, not just for me about the music or, but mainly also about you if you're open to it, because I think you have such an extraordinary journey and story to share because you have taken that. Traditional conventional, professional corporate route, which I know so many people out there have done. Right? And then you are like, okay, now I'm gonna do something else. And it's something that is radically different at a time of life when most people would be like, no, I can't do this Now. I've built such a secure life. You're risking so much, but you are doing it. And I think it will be extraordinary to share some of your mental processes and the action steps that you took that will inspire others maybe to do the same too.

[00:35:55] Melissa: Thank you. Would you be open to that? Yes. Yes. Amazing. Thank you. Thank you. 

[00:35:59] Li Lian: Thank you for giving me this opportunity to share my voice. To share my thoughts.

[00:36:04] Melissa: Absolutely. And I can't wait to have you come on for more. So until next week, listeners, stay fearlessly curious.

[00:36:20] Melissa: If you want more, make sure to subscribe so you never miss a new episode every Friday. And please leave a review. If you enjoy this episode. Don't forget to send me your curious questions and experiences as inspiration for future episodes. Your anonymity will be respected if that's what you prefer. For more guidance and support, join my emotional healing, mindfulness and music community over at melissaindot.com. See you next week.

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